


Unexpected Life

by melikaioke



Category: Code Black (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-12 03:53:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5651536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melikaioke/pseuds/melikaioke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leanne and Neal has been dating for about a year, their relationship is perfect, but an unexpected surprise is about to turn their world completely around. AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Leanne bounced her right leg up and down quickly. She pinched her lip as she waited. Lifting her left arm she turned to look at her watch, three...two...one. Releasing her lip she picked up the test, “What…” 

She shook it lightly and looked at it again. “Fuck.” 

Leanne shoved the fourth pregnancy test in the box and grabbed it, shoving it in her vest pocket she exited the bathroom and into the main locker room. She went to her locker and opened it, shoving the box in her bag she shut it forcefully and grabbing her phone. 

‘Jesse, had to run upstairs for a second. Let me know of a 911 comes in.” 

As she walked towards the elevator she felt her phone go off, glancing down she read his ‘Got it.’ and then pressed the up button on the elevator. Once inside she ran her hands over her hair and then pressed number 7, the floor for OB. 

The elevator dinged opened and she stepped out. Going to the counter she smiled at one of the nurses posted there, “Dr. Rorish, how can I help you? 

“Is Dr. Lane available? I need him for a consult.” 

“I believe he is, let me page him.”

Leanne nodded and turned around, leaning against the counter she was given an overview of the waiting room. Young mothers sitting, rubbing their extended bellies made her shift a bit. 45 years old...that was not a good age to be having another child. Sighing slightly she looked away, the thought making her somewhat sick. 

“Leanne..” 

Bringing her head up she smiled at Dr. Lane. He had been there for her first two pregnancies, and over the years had become a good friend. “Maggie says you need a consult?” 

Nodding she cleared her throat, standing a bit straighter, “I do.” 

He nodded, and the slight smirk he gave her told her that he knew, somehow he always did. Biting her lip she followed him to his office, which was attached to a small medical room. Closing the blinds and the door he lead her into the room.

“So, how many tests did you take?”

Sitting on the table she sighed and pulled up her sleeve, “Four.” 

Nodding he put on some gloves and got the items he would need for a blood draw. “Then why are you here?” 

“I need to know for sure...it could be false positives.” 

He scoffed, “One maybe, but not four.” 

Leanne shot him a glare, he returned it back, which is why they got along so well. Craig never took her shit, instead he dished it right back at her. 

When he finished her blood he marked it but only with the initials of DL. “I'll call you when I get the results...but in the meantime…” 

Leanne put the band-aid on and put her sleeve back down. “I know...I know.” 

Getting down from the table she tapped his shoulder. “Thanks Craig.”

He shook his head slightly and got up, “Anytime.” He smiled when she laughed sarcastically. 

Leanne shot Jesse another text saying that she was back at the floor. She decided on the elevator ride down she wasn't going to tell Neal until it was confirmed. Even though it was. Going to the nurse’s station she grabbed the charts that had been set down by her residents. Looking through them she made sure things were in proper order, that was until his thick accent reached her ears, immediately distracting her train of thought. It had been one of the first things she fell madly in love with, his accent. 

Looking up she smiled slightly, her brown eyes going to his back as he worked with Amy on a young patient. They had been dating for a year now, and most of the hospital knew. They had decided that they weren't going to keep it a secret, why deny the happiness they shared? They had built a trusted work relationship over the span of twelve years, and now it was a romantic one, and it was perfect. About halfway into their year Neal had moved into her house. There was no sense going back and forth, seeing as all his apartment was practically already there. 

They were happy, and it showed. She just hoped that this unexpected pregnancy didn’t hinder the happiness they both shared. He hadn't signed up for this, and neither had she. Leanne figured she was rounding the age where children weren't a possibility anymore, she had accepted that a few years ago. Yet here she was, 45 and pregnant. 

Sighing heavily she went back to her charts, signing them off and then filing them on the back counter where they belonged. She looked at her watch again, 10 pm. Biting her lip she pulled out her phone and went to Mark's number. 

‘How much coverage you have tonight?’ 

Tapping her phone with her fingernails she waited. Then the buzz went off. 

‘Enough. Go home.’

She smirked slightly she sent him a 'thank you' and told Isabele that she was calling it an early night. The tenure nurse nodded and got up to erase her name from the white board that stated which doctors were in house. 

Leanne left the small nurses and went to the locker room. She knew Neal was busy, so instead of interrupting him she sent him a quick text letting him know that she was leaving early. Flipping her phone on to sound she set it on the bench and started to change. When she heard the door open she looked up, smiling casually at a panicked Neal. 

“You okay?” 

Nodding she pulled on her shirt. “Yeah, wanted to take a short day.” 

She knew he wasn't convinced. Feeling him step closer she turned around, smiling softly at him as she took his hand. “I promise I am fine.” 

Neal nodded a bit and leaned down to kiss her, she leaned to him, returning his kiss and then pulling away. “I'll see you in the morning.”

He pulled away as well, only so he could brush his hand against her shoulders. “Okay, love you.” 

Leanne turned towards him, “Love you too.” 

When Neal left she sighed, she was more than sure everything was written on her face, yet he didn’t seem to notice. She finished changing and made sure she had everything in her bag and then left the locker room. On the short drive home she decided to stop at the pharmacy, going and buying yet another pregnancy test she then went home. 

Leanne went through her normal routine, checking the mail, fishing out the things that they needed and tossing the things they didn’t. Since having worked graveyards for the past few years she stayed up and did some laundry and watched television. Before she knew it, it was four o’clock in the morning, since Neal would be home in a few short hours she decided to try and get some sleep. Grabbing her phone and pregnancy tests from her bag she headed up the stairs, making sure to put the tests in a place Neal wouldn’t dare look she set her alarm for later in the afternoon and lay down. 

Sleep, however did not come easily. Instead she thought about the baby that was now growing in her belly. “Forty five…” she sighed heavily, shaking her head. She tapped her fingers over the top of her left hand and bit at her lip. 

It wasn’t the fact that she was the age she was now, but the fact that they had been extremely careful. They had talked about the possibilities, and the future their relationship held. Neal was thirty six years old, still plenty of time to have children. But Leanne, she was nearing her fifties, she had done the marriage and kids thing...she wasn’t sure she was ready to do all that over again halfway through her life. Neal had been supportive, telling her that he didn’t need marriage or kids, all he wanted was her and that was enough for him. But she knew, deep down he wanted a family. She figured their relationship would last a few years until he grew tired, or decided that just having her wasn’t enough. But now..she figured he still had choices, he could walk away from this and she wouldn’t be the one to judge him. She was trapping him, and who wanted to be trapped? 

Rolling over on her side she faced the open area of the room. Glancing at the clock on the television box she wrinkled her nose, four thirty. She heard the light buzzer of the drying telling her that the clothes were finished, sighing she decided she would get those later. “Okay, sleep.”

Leanne closed her eyes and sighed again, willing her body and mind to shut down so she could get a semi-decent sleep. A few minutes later her eyes shot open, she flung back the covers and slipped out of the bed. Leanne headed down the stairs and towards the laundry room, If she couldn’t sleep she might as well do something productive. Entering the small laundry room behind the kitchen she pulled the clothes from the dryer and set them on the kitchen island. Usually she never did laundry all at once, it was a process that was done throughout the week, and she was starting to remember why. Together they accumulated enough laundry for an army, or so it seemed. 

By the time she was finishing the last load of laundry it was about six thirty, around the time Neal would come home. Leanne figured he would be hungry. Finishing up the last of the folding she put everything the items neatly in the laundry room on top of the machines and went to start breakfast. French toast and eggs, easy and one of his favorites. Just as she was finishing the last of the eggs she heard his car pull into the side drive, Leanne moved about the kitchen swiftly and set the items at the table, along with some coffee and orange juice. Neal came through the side door that attached to the kitchen, slightly surprised to see her awake and cooking, yet a pleasant sight. 

“Hey hon.”

He set his backpack down on the bench near the door and went towards her. Leanne smiled up at him and kissed him lightly. “Morning.”

Neal inhaled deeply, a smile tugging at his lips. “Did you sleep?”

Leanne nodded and got some silverware, lie number one. “Yep. Did some laundry too so you should have some clean scrubs for the work week.” 

Nodding he went to the table, clapping his hands together lightly. “This looks amazing babe, thank you.”

She smiled as she approached the table, setting down the forks and napkins. “You are welcome. Figured you would be hungry.”

Sitting down he hummed in response, “Very.” 

Leanne sat down as well, and reached over to grab his plate. Serving him first she then served herself and got a little more comfortable in the chair. Neal indeed was hungry, as he seemed to devour his food right in front of her. Smiling slightly she could see them and the baby sitting at the table, their little one in her lap as he ate and cooed at him or her. Setting her fork down she leaned her elbows on the table, “Neal..”

He hummed and looked over at her. Leanne bit at her lip and cleared her throat, suddenly the bravery that she possessed for the moment disappeared. “How was the rest of your shift?”

Picking up her fork to make it seem like a casual conversation she cut off a piece of the french toast. When he swallowed his bite he shrugged, “It was smooth, no major trauma’s came in after you left, so that was nice.”

Taking a bite she nodded, beating herself up she finished the rest of their meal in peace and quiet. When they were finished Neal cleared the table and went back into the kitchen to wash the plates. Leanne finished the rest of the laundry. She had been thinking about the pregnancy, and how Neal would take it when he popped into the laundry room, his hands going to the back of her shoulders. 

“Come to bed with me.”

Leanne smiled, all thoughts and doubts escaping her mind as she leaned her back against him. “I need to finish here.”

Neal dropped his hands only to wrap them around her waist, his lips going to her neck as he hummed. “No you don’t.”

She never could resist his soft voice, or when he kissed her neck. Stopping her folding she turned her head to him, a smile pulling at her lips. “Alright, you have convinced me.”

He smiled victoriously and let go of her body. He took her hand and lead her out of the laundry room. He quietly lead her up the stairs and into their bedroom. Turning her so he could face her he put his hands on either side of her neck, at his touch she slipped her eyes closed. Leanne didn’t know how he did it but with his touch he made every worry in her mind completely disappear. 

“You look worried.”

Leanne opened her eyes, her brow rising slightly. Neal smirked slightly, knowing that she was he leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers. Humming she put her hands on his back, keeping him as close as she possibly could. Feeling her desperation Neal kissed her deeply, his tongue parting her lips as he backed her up slowly towards the bed. The feeling of the bed against the back of her knees caused her to pull back, Her forehead going to his shoulder as she shook her head. Neal instantly frowned, his hands running down her arms. 

“What’s the matter?”

Closing her eyes she hummed to him, it was now or never. She knew the results, and nothing Dr. Lane told her could change it. Not daring to take her forehead from his shoulder she sighed heavily, “Neal...I’m pregnant.”


	2. Chapter 2

_Neal, I’m pregnant._

He was pretty sure he was hallucinating, after all he did work a double shift. Yes, that’s what was happening, he was going completely bonkers. So instead of freaking completely out he moved his hands back up her arms and to the back of her shoulders. And then it hit him, it almost felt like someone had punched him in the stomach because he instantly wanted to puke. Neal removed his hands from her shoulders like they were on fire, stepping back he raised his brow and tilted his head. 

“I’m sorry...what?”

Leanne bit at her bottom lip. Here it comes, here comes the freak out. Clasping her hands together she sat at the edge of the bed. “I’m pregnant.”

Neal stepped back again to her words. He ran his left hand through his crazy hair and shook his head. She could see the panic in his face, the fear rising in his belly. 

“How the hell did this happen Leanne Rorish!?”

Pressing her lips together she raised her left brow high, “Well”

“I mean come on….we were so careful! You are on the pill and everything.” 

He dropped his hand and pointed to her. Leanne just sighed a bit, he knew the percentages of the birth control. Everyone did. But she wasn't going to remind him, instead she sat here, trying not to take any of his words to heart. Neal dropped his hand and started to pace the length of the bedroom. Biting her lip again she watched him softly, his mind going a million miles per hour as he tried to process this as well. When he stopped pacing he looked at her. 

“We have to get married.”

It was now her turn to panic, and the suggestion of marriage made her stand up quickly and put her hands out. 

“That’s a big jump Neal….we, just because this is happening doesn’t mean we have to run to the courthouse and give them our vows.”

Neal put his hands out to her in an exasperated gesture. “A big jump….a big jump!? And having a kid isn’t a big jump...Leanne.”

Leanne shook her head. “You damn well know I am not ready to get married again Neal, and a baby. I …” she shrugged lightly, “It’s not like this was planned, okay. It happens.” 

He bit the inside of his cheek, “How do you know for sure?”

Dropping her shoulders a bit she ran her tongue over the bottom of her lip. “I took four pregnancy tests at work, and I went to see Craig. He did a blood test and will call me as soon as he knows...but Neal. A blood test is only going to confirm what I already know.” 

Neal shoved his hands in his jeans pockets, “How far along?”

“I don’t know yet.” 

Nodding he shifted his eyes away from her. Shuffling his feet he glanced back up at her, “I’m...going to go for a walk.”

All she could do was nod. She knew he needed a moment, this was, like he said a big jump. A jump that they weren’t prepared for, a jump that they had already concluded wasn’t going to happen. He moved out of the bedroom and down the stairs, grabbing his set of keys he left the house and started to walk down the street. Leanne sighed heavily and let her head fall back a bit. 

She wouldn’t blame him if he chose to walk away. After all, who would want to have a child with a women who didn’t even want to get married? Lifting her head back up she nodded a bit and then went into the bathroom to shower. 

\- 

Leanne didn’t get worried when he wasn’t home after about an hour. He was processing the information she had given him, and then some. Instead of trying to sleep she went downstairs into the living room and curled up on the couch with some tv. She had become completely engrossed in a crime television show that she hadn’t heard her phone go off at first. Snapping out of the trance she seemed to be in she grabbed her phone from the coffee table and pressed ‘answer’. 

“Hello?”

_“Leanne, It’s Craig.”_

She sat up, swinging her legs over the couch, “Oh, hey.”

_“I got your results back, looks like you are twelve weeks yesterday.”_

Leanne nodded, “Okay.”

 _“I’m going to schedule you to come in on Saturday, we can take a look, make sure everything is alright in there.”_

Clearing her throat she nodded again, “Sounds good.”

_“You tell Neal?”_

Laughing a bit she leaned back into the couch, “Yeah...he’s out taking a walk.”

She could hear the sigh Craig let go, _“Hang in there. I’ll see you okay, and call me if you need anything.”_

“I will, thanks Craig.” 

Leanne tossed her phone on the couch after the click echoed in her left ear. Leaning her head back she sighed and closed her eyes. “Here we go…”

“Here who goes?”

At the sound of his voice she lifted her head and turned on the couch, her brows furrowing together as she watched him move from the hallway separating the living room and kitchen towards her. Neal moved her phone and set it on the coffee table before sitting down next to her, without a beat he reached his hands out and placed them on her face, closing the space between them he kissed her softly. 

Leanne’s frown disappeared as she let his kiss consume her in only a way he was able to do. When he parted his lips from her’s he tilted his head to kiss her jawline. 

“I’m not going anywhere, if that is what you had been thinking.”

His lips danced against her skin and his words caused her to close her eyes. 

“I wouldn’t have blamed you.”

Neal kissed her jawline again, “I would have.” 

Leanne’s hand went to his forearm, her body leaning to him more. 

“I’m sorry...that I’m trapping you.”

He didn’t move from her, instead he moved his lips from her jaw back to her lips. Placing a soft kiss at the corner of her mouth as he shook his head. 

“You could never trap me, Leanne.”

Lifting his head he looked at her, at the lack of his lips on her skin she opened her eyes. His brown eyes stared back at her, she couldn’t find the panic there anymore, or worry. Instead they were soft, trusting, and full of a love she never doubted. 

“We don’t have to get married, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. But I won’t be walking away because of this baby...no matter what happens between us I will love it, and I will love you for giving it to me.”

Leanne bit at her bottom lip and moved to press her forehead against his. She knew that if he wanted too he could still leave, she would never deny him that. But for now, in this moment of time he was here vowing that they were going to do this together. 

“Okay…”

Neal smiled softly and tilted his head, placing a soft kiss to her lips before pulling away. 

“I love you.”

She smiled, they had only said the words a few times. But she knew he loved her and vice versa. But right now she appreciated the confirmation. “I love you too.”

His smile grew and he went to kiss her again, this time he bypassed her lips and went to the thin skin of her neck. 

“You want to know something?”

All she got in response was a hum, she laughed lightly. The vibration from her throat tickling his lips. 

“I’m twelve weeks...our baby is the size of a lime.” 

Neal parted from her neck with a smack of his lips, raising his brow he leaned back. 

“A lime...the size of a lime?”

Smirking she nodded to him, and the brightness in his eyes made her smile wider. Perhaps, this pregnancy wasn’t going to be as bad as she is predicting it. Without warning Neal’s lips attacked hers, she laughed in surprise. But her laugh quickly dissipated as Neal’s tongue parted hers. Leanne hummed to him as her hands went down his arms. Neal ran his tongue against her own, Leanne straightened her back and pressed forward, Neal taking that as a prime opportunity to slip his hand under her shirt. 

Leanne gasped at his hands on her skin, her tongue dancing along with his as he parted to nip at her earlobe. His other hand slipped under her tank top as well, gripping at her back as he pushed her back against the couch. Her head resting softly against one of the pillows as his hands moved from her back to her stomach. Lightly he rested them there as his lips ventured further down her neck and to her collarbone. Another hum escaped her throat as he moved himself back, letting her move her leg out before settling between her legs. 

“Neal….as much,” she hummed again when his teeth grazed her skin. “..as I am enjoying this, you need sleep.”

She could feel him shake his head at her, mumbling against her skin that he would sleep later. Leanne smiled and arched her back when his hands slipped under the front of her tank top, pushing it up to reveal her breasts. Neal ran his hand down her cleavage, and then softly with the other hand cupped her breast. Leanne bit her bottom lip as he leaned down to her, taking one of her nipples in his mouth and sucking softly. 

Leanne arched her back to him, her mouth parting as she let out a low hum. Her cheeks flushed with a hint of pink as he continued to lightly massage her breast. He let go of her nipple and placed soft kisses between her breasts before moving back up to her mouth. Instead of fully kissing her he nipped at her bottom lip, a smile tugging at his own lips when she moaned. 

He loved to see what kind of noises he could make her do. Letting go of her breast he moved his hand down her bare belly and to her pajama bottoms. Neal swiftly pulled down her pajama bottoms, as well as her underwear. He slipped them out of her leg that was slightly hanging over the side of the couch and then pressed his lower half against her. Leanne moaned out to him, her hands going to the back of her shoulders as her fingers gripped at the fabric if his shirt. Leanne tugged at it and with his help was able to get it over his head and toss it over the side of the couch. 

Her hands ran over his chest and stomach, her fingernails grazing his skin as he parted his lower half from her and worked on his pants. Neal pushed his pants down and in a swift moment he connected his hips back to her’s, pushing himself inside of her. 

Leanne arched her back as goosebumps hit her skin, her hands going to the front of his shoulders as he slowly pulled away and then pushed back to her. Humming he moved his hands under her back, lifting her slightly as he connected his lips back to hers. She sucked on his bottom lip as he continued to move within her. His left hand moved down the outside of her thigh and to her calf, slowly he raised her leg and hooked it around the back of his leg. His lips danced with hers as their bodies intertwined together, the friction building between them as he continued to move his hips back away from hers and then back. 

He broke their kiss after a few seconds and let out a low moan, his lower stomach tightening as his release was building. She flattened her hands against his shoulders, the muscles moving under her fingers. Sliding them down as far as she could reach she dug her nails into his skin, causing him to jump slightly at the feeling. Smirking to him she leaned forward, her lips dancing above his, “Come on baby…”

Neal licked the bottom of his lip, catching hers as well as he pressed his fully against hers. His hips moving faster as he gripped the side of her leg. His brows furrowed together as he felt his body shake at his release, Leanne broke from his lips and let out a cry as she too let go. 

Her nails dug more into his skin before she let go, her back arching as she started to shake with him. Slowing his hips Neal placed kisses along her jawline, his facial features relaxing as they started to come down from their joined high. Humming Leanne ran her fingers over the marks that her nails gave him. “Did...I hurt you?”

Neal shook his head and continued his kisses, his hand letting go of her leg to reach up and push back some of her hair. “You could never hurt me.”

Smiling slightly she relaxed her body against the couch, her hands going from his back towards his chest. Neal ran his hands up her stomach and chest then pushed them into her hair. He smiled down at her as he leaned forward and placed light kisses along her cheeks and the corners of her mouth. Humming she slipped her eyes closed, her mind spinning as she continued to come down from her high. Neal finally relaxed against her, his head going to her shoulder as her fingers ran through his slightly damp hair.

\--  
Leanne moved through the kitchen, she was getting their coffee ready for the shift. She stifled a yawn as she reached for their coffee mugs, she couldn’t say either of them got much sleep that afternoon, but really who was complaining?

Pouring his coffee she fixed it the way he liked it and screwed on the cap, making sure it was tight for he had a tendency to spill. She set it aside and then poured herself some coffee, doing the same with the cap. 

“Is coffee okay?..”

Leanne turned to him, raising her brow in question. 

“I mean, should you be drinking coffee?”

She shrugged lightly, “No, but I need to wing myself off..plus, you don’t want to see me without coffee just yet.”

Neal laughed a bit as he grabbed his coffee mug, “I’m sure I would survive.”

She laughed lightly as well, taking her mug from the counter and grabbing her work bag. “We will see…”

Leanne moved from the kitchen into the hallway to grab the car keys, going back into the kitchen she tossed them at Neal, who caught them. 

“You know...we are going to have to tell Taylor, about the pregnancy.”

Clearing her throat a bit she shook her head, “I want to wait until I am in my second trimester…”  
He tilted his head and leaned against the counter. Leanne could see the questions in his eyes. 

“After I pass the first trimester I have a less chance of losing the baby. With my age, the chances are a bit higher...I just want to be sure.”

Neal dropped his gaze slightly, nodding as he pushed himself from the counter. “We will wait then.”

Biting her lip she sighed and went to the kitchen door that would lead them outside. “Come one, we better get going or we are going to be late.”

Neal followed her out and locked the kitchen door behind them. He felt selfish, he didn’t take into account what Leanne was going through. He was too worried about himself, about how this could affect their relationship if their romance didn’t last. Biting at his lip he got into the car and started it. Once she got settled he reached out and took her hand, bringing it up to his lip he kissed it softly and then set it back down. Leanne smiled a bit at him and then looked out the window as he pulled out of the driveway. 

“Everything is going to be okay.”

It was a small mumble, but she had heard his words. Biting the inside of her cheek she hummed a bit to him, she hoped everything was going to be okay. She knew it hadn’t fully sunk in, the pregnancy, but if something happened to her and Neal’s relationship she wasn’t quite sure she would be able to survive that. She had already lost the man she loved once, she wasn’t too keen on the idea of having to do it again.


	3. Chapter 3

Work was relatively uneventful, which was nice, because Leanne’s mind was not altogether today. Her brief discussion with Neal regarding the risks of pregnancy at her age started to run through her mind, again. Sure, no matter what age there was a risk, pregnancy was a tedious and stressful thing that happened to your body. But it was much different now, she was forty-five years old, not the young thirty year old that was running around the hospital at nine months pregnant. Speaking of age, she would be sixty years old when their child turned twenty. Sitting back in her chair she cleared her throat a bit, her head tilting as she contemplated whether or not she would make it to see whatever future grandchildren she might have. Crossing her left leg over her right, and her arms over her chest she stared at the charts and miscellaneous items on the desk. 

Leanne bit at her fingernail on her index finger, children were challenging when you were young. Hell, she had a rough time with Amelia in the first four years. That little girl was stubborn, of course she had herself to blame. But at fifty, running around after a five year old. Her brows almost threaded together as she internally felt her panic rise. Her mouth fell open a bit more as she let her thoughts completely consume her, definitely unaware that Jesse had been watching her face turn into a slight calm to a straight panic, one he hadn't seen in quite some time. 

He had finished what he was doing and approached her, tilting his head as he noticed her drift into a world that was not in the present. 

“Leanne…”

Moving from the front of the counter he went around to her, putting his hand on her shoulder and causing her to jump. Pulling back he put his hands up and took a small step backwards. 

“You okay there?”

Sitting up more she nodded, grabbing her glasses she set them to hang on the ‘v’ of her scrubs top. Jesse, who was unconvinced put his hands to his hips. 

“You weren’t on earth there for a moment, you sure you are alright?”

Leanne stood and smiled at him, “I’m fine.”

He pursed his lips and raised his brow, “Mama can see that you are lying.”

Rolling her eyes she tilted her head at him. There were only two people in this world that she had never been able to lie too, one was the man who shared her bed, the other was the man staring at her right now. Sighing out of defeat she licked her lips, “Okay, but we arn’t talking here.”

Jesse nodded and followed her from the small desk and towards the lounge. Leanne made sure that no one else was in the room before stepping in and shutting the door behind Jesse. 

“Okay, I just ask you, right now to not make a big deal about this. Because I’m honestly freaking out internally and I need you.”

Jesse’s face went from a playful tone to a serious one. He hadn’t seen Leanne act like this much, she was the strong one, the one who had everything collectively together. Nodding he put his hand lightly on her elbow, “Talk to me Leanne.”

Sighing she nodded, shaking her head as she didn’t believe she was saying these words again. “Yesterday, I found out I am pregnant.”

He tilted his head slightly, “Like...with a baby?”

Leanne bit the inside of her cheek, “No Jesse, with a pizza. Yes a baby!”

He smirked a bit, dropping his hand from her elbow. “It’s Neal’s?”

Moving her jaw a bit she raised her brow, he put his hands up in defense and gave her a small chuckle. “I’m sorry, of course it’s Neal’s.”

Leanne softened her expression and frowned again. “I…” she raised her hands and then let them fall against her sides. “We were so careful...we had talked about it before. Not having children, he agreed, he said it didn’t matter to him.”

She moved from her spot in front of him and to the empty table, Jesse followed her and sat down, reaching out and taking her hands in his.  
“Are you happy?”

Leanne leaned back in her chair, nodding to his question. 

“And he is happy...then that is all that matter’s Leanne.”

Licking her lips again she leaned towards him, “I’m not thirty anymore, Jesse.”

He smiled, “No, you are not, you are so much older.”

It had got her to laugh, and right now that is what she had needed. He moved her hands in his, lightly rubbing the top of hers in comfort. 

“You have never let your age stop you from anything, why let it now? You may not be as young as you were when you had Amelia or James. But you can handle this, Daddy.”

Her brown eyes pleaded with him, she may be able to handle this. But she couldn’t do it without him, much like the two times before. Jesse had been her eye at work, her rock when things were unbearable and Michael didn’t understand. 

“I’m scared, Jesse.”

He tightened his hold on her hands, “I know. But I got you, and so does Neal.”

Dropping her head she nodded, regardless of whatever words he offered her there would still be fear. She felt the tears collect in her eyes, desperately blinking them away but failing as one slipped down her cheek. Jesse frowned more, one of his hands letting go of hers and going to her forearm. 

“Do you think...if I love this baby, like Amelia and James that I betrayed them?”

Leanne glanced up at him as she felt another tear slip from the corner of her eye. She felt as if she had already betrayed their memory. She had fallen in love with another man, and now she was having his child. It had taken everything in her to want to push Neal away, to live a life of solidarity and not be exposed in that way again. But she had failed, miserably. 

Jesse squeezed her hand again, shaking his head. 

“You are not betraying anyone, you are alive...living. Michael would have wanted you to find love again, the kids, they would have wanted you to be happy.”

Nodding, she sniffed and pulled her hand out from under his. Wiping away the tears she cleared her throat. 

“You deserve the world Leanne, and you have it with Neal. Don’t let the past come back to haunt that, okay?”

The corner of her mouth twitched slightly, a faint smile forming as she nodded once again. “Okay.”

Jesse smiled and nodded, “Okay...come on let’s find you something good.”

Leanne laughed a bit more and stood up, making sure to rid the evidence of her crying and wiping her cheeks again. 

Something good was definitely found. Not more than ten minutes later had they gotten a call from the ambulance dispatch that a gunshot victim was enroute from East LA. The case was bloody, distracting and everything Leanne needed at that moment. The patient had three gunshot wounds, one to the leg, and two to the chest area. It took her three times to stabilize the patient enough that he would be able to get up to the OR and not die in the elevator. When all was said and done Leanne ripped off the yellow gown and gloves, tossing them in the bin and grabbing the chart for her notes. Jesse had seen the contentment on her face and smiled, he always knew how to take care of daddy. 

With a peace only a gunshot wound could bring her she swiftly walked over to the nurses station. Setting the chart down she opened it and made a few notes and signed off on the medication that was used. Sighing she shut the chart and handed it to Isabele who put it behind the counter. 

\--

Saturday came a lot quicker than she had anticipated, and if it wasn’t for her alarm telling her that she needed to go see Craig she probably would have forgotten. Fortunately the alarm came at a down time in the ER, it wasn’t that she was nervous but knowing you are pregnant and seeing it on the screen are entirely two different things. Letting Craig know that she was seeking Neal out and that they would be up shortly she walked the hallways looking for her other half. 

Usually he was easy to find, but on this particular day he was nowhere in sight. Going over to the nurses station she asked Risa if she could page Neal. She obliged and sent a page throughout the floor. Leanne leaned casually against the counter as she waited, impatiently. After a good five minutes she pursed her lips, she turned towards Risa who raised her brow. “Tell Dr. Hudson I am upstairs.”

“What floor, Dr. Rorish?”

Leanne pushed away from the counter and sighed, “He will know.”

Risa nodded and watched as Leanne quickly walked away. Slightly furious she pressed the button on the elevator and glanced down the hallway. Shaking her head she rubbed the side of her neck, when the elevator opened she stepped inside and pressed the button for the OB floor approximately three times. 

Stepping out onto the floor she shoved her hands in her scrubs pockets and headed towards Craig’s office. Furry started to build in her mind as she tried to figure out what was more important to him, this child or whatever he had decided to do in the moment of ignoring her texts and page. 

Slight tunnel vision clouded her mind and she never heard the fast paced footsteps behind her. The felling of his hand on her shoulder caused her haze to clear and she turned, rolling her eyes instantly. Neal knew he was in trouble, he had seen her three texts when he decided it was probably a good decision to check his phone. 

“Leanne I’m sorry.”

Pushing her bangs back she continued to walk. Neal sighed a bit and walked behind her, yet kept his space. 

“I was helping Dr. Lorenson out with something.”

She tilted her head, “Ah...Dr. Lorenson.”

It was his turn to roll his eyes and he stepped in tune with her. “She had a few questions about a procedure, and my phone was on vibrate.”

Leanne stopped walking and turned to him, “I don’t want your explanations Neal, you are either here or not.”

Licking his lips he cleared his throat, “Listen...I’m here. Okay. Yes I forgot, but…”

“But, but. You have been MIA all morning…” she shook her head and looked down at the ground. “I don’t want to fight, whatever, let’s go.”

She stepped aside and went to Craig's door, knocking she waited for him to tell them to come in. Pushing the door opened she smiled slightly, Neal stepped in behind her and shut the door. 

“Leanne, Neal.”

Craig had everything set up, “Okay, hop on up.”

Leanne took off her stethoscope that was placed on her hip, along with her pager and a few things out of her pockets. She set them on the counter before sitting in the chair. Rolling up her scrubs top as well as the undershirt she leaned back, she already had a small bump indicating their growing baby. Neal stepped more to her side and leaned towards her, “I truly am sorry hon.”

Looking over at him she pursed her lips again, “I just don’t see what was so important that it couldn’t have waited until after this.”

He shrugged lightly, glancing over at Craig who was putting a sterile cloth at the rim of her scrubs bottoms. He looked back at Leanne who was definitely annoyed, “She needed some help with something...I was trying to be a good teacher.”

Rolling her eyes again she sighed, “I’m over it, okay.” She did her best to give him a reassuring smile, but Neal was definitely not convinced. He knew this was important, and he was invested in their life and their child. But he did truly forget, and a resident needed his help. 

“It won’t happen again, I promise Leanne...I”

The sound of a heartbeat caused him to turn mid sentence. His brown eyes went wider as he stared at the screen. Craig clicked on the computer a few times and the black and white image of their baby appeared on the screen. Leanne instantly smiled and looked at Neal and then at the screen. 

“Here we are kids…” he ran the sonogram wand around a bit more, clicking a few more times on the keyboard to get some pictures. 

“Looks like we have two legs, two hands, a good strong heartbeat…”

Neal leaned forward, his hand going on top of Leanne’s. He swallowed the lump in his throat, “That’s...that’s our baby.”

She looked back over at him and smiled wider, nodding and then going back to the screen. “That’s our baby.”

Craig looked over at them and smiled, he clicked a picture on the screen and let the monitor run so the heartbeat could be heard in the background. 

“Everything looks good, I want you coming in every three weeks so we can keep an eye on your blood pressure.”

Leanne nodded to him and shifted a bit, “Are you worried about diabetes?”

Craig pursed his lips and then shook his head, “We will keep an eye on your blood sugar, but you are healthy, I’m not too worried about that.” 

Neal had been oblivious to what they were talking about, completely transfixed on the imagine of their son or daughter on the screen. He extended out his arm and pointed at the imagine, “That…” 

Frowning a bit she reached up and shoved his hand away, looking over at him she smirked softly, “Neal...Neal?”

Shaking his head he dropped his hand and smiled over at her, “Sorry...I, uhm can you tell if its a boy or a girl yet?”

Craig shook his head, “No. We will do another ultrasound when she is at twenty weeks, we should be able to tell then.” 

Reaching over he shut off the machine and wiped off the gel from her belly. He grabbed the pictures and handed them over to a still dumbfounded Neal. Leanne sat up and sighed a bit, “How about the risk of miscarriage?”

Sitting back in his chair he sighed a bit, “Everything looks great Leanne, I don’t think we are going to need to worry about that. However, you know the risks of having a baby past forty, I think you need to tell Taylor, and about your fifth or sixth month try cutting back on shifts.”

Tilting her head to him she raised a brow, “Yeah...okay, Craig.”

Sliding off of the chair she pushed past Neal and started to put her items back in their respective places. 

“I’m serious, come your sixth month if you are not cutting back on shifts I’ll put you on leave.”

Nodding to him she glanced over at him, “Okay, okay.”

Craig stood, laughing lightly at Neal as he stared at the pictures. Leanne glanced over at him as well, all thoughts of why he was late and him taking things seriously quickly disappeared. Putting her hand on his shoulder she caused him to turn, “Come on...we have to get back to the ER.” 

Neal stood and shoved the pictures in his pocket. Turning to Craig he smiled, “We’re having a baby.”


	4. Chapter 4

“And you can see…” he moved the sonogram from the video camera and turned it around, wrinkling his face he shrugged and turned it back around so his mother and father could see. “Well, it looks like a peanut to be honest.”

Asra giggled and nodded, completely in love with the fact that Neal was going to be a father. She knew he was going to be a great one, even if his own wasn’t that affectionate. He had called them when they had gotten home from shift, he had promised Leanne not to tell them right away, they wanted to wait a bit longer. But it was two weeks since their first appointment and he simply couldn’t wait any longer.

He was over the moon, and he wanted his parents to be as well. Hearing the news at first it was quite shocking, Peter stated Leanne’s age, which Neal quickly told him was not an important topic. Asra of course stepped in and calmed Neal, telling him that having a child was wonderful, regardless of age. Peter let Asra and Neal take over the conversation, forgetting all about the quick jab of Leanne’s age as he showed them the pictures of the ultrasound. 

“It does look like a peanut!”

Neal moved the picture away, revealing his slightly goofy smile as he nodded. 

“We are quite excited…”

Asra nodded, “As we are son…” clearing her throat she leaned a bit towards the screen, “You look tired.”

Neal laughed a bit and ran his hand through his hair. 

“I just got out of a fifteen hour shift...so.”

“You should sleep, Neal. Sleep now before that baby comes…”

He laughed softly and nodded to his mother’s words, “yeah, that is what Leanne is telling me.”

Asra’s smile dropped slowly, “how is Leanne?”

Dropping his hand he tilted his head, frowning at the question of how his better half was doing. 

“She is fine. The doctor said we don’t have anything to worry about, perhaps just keeping an eye on her blood pressure. But other than that, she is a clean bill of health.”

She put her hand up to stop him, “That isn’t what I meant, though I am glad that there is no concern for the pregnancy.” Letting her hand fall back against her desk she sighed softly, “How is she doing...with all of this?”

Neal leaned back in his chair, biting his lip as he now fully understood the question. He looked back up at his mother, he brow rising slowly. 

“She seems fine -”

Peter stepped forward, his arms crossed over his chest, “Do you really believe that? She is having another child Neal, and after she lost two…”

Neal sighed and pursed his lips, his father liked Leanne. However he didn’t seem to like the choices they were making. 

“I know what she lost, I was there.”

Asra turned to Peter, her hand going to stop him, “Peter, please...not now.”

Rolling his eyes he moved out of the view, Asra turned back to her son concern clear across her face. 

“I just think, maybe this is...too much. That she isn’t ready.”

Crossing his arms over his chest he let his head fall, “Unfortunately fate doesn’t ask you if you are ready...she hasn’t said anything, we haven’t really had a chance to sit down and really talk about this. It happened so fast, and then we have both been working.”

Asra nodded, “Perhaps it’s time to sit down and talk about it Neal.” 

Tilting his head he gave her a knowing look, “I will mum...listen I have to get going. We will call you sometime tomorrow.”

She nodded and smiled, “Alright. We love you.”

Neal mumbled ‘I love you’ back and ended the skype call. Sighing he shut the computer and stood. 

“Was that your mom?”

He turned at her voice and smiled, she had already showered and changed. 

“Yeah, I told her we would call sometime tomorrow…”

Nodding she smiled and turned towards the kitchen, “You hungry?”

“Not really.”

Leanne moved into the kitchen regardless, opening the fridge to scan and see what they had. He watched her, but not like he used too. He watched how she carelessly moved her hand to push her hair from her face. How her nose wrinkled slightly when she couldn’t find what she wanted on the shelves. She was changing, in a good way. He didn’t realize until now how she had started to fill out from the pregnancy, the small bump wasn’t evident if you didn’t look closely. But he could see it. Her loose t-shirts were getting a bit tighter, and he couldn’t help but smile at the fact that in there, their child was growing. 

“Leanne..”

She hummed to him and shut the fridge, turning towards him as he moved closer. He wasn’t sure how to ask her about how she was feeling. It was never a subject they really touched, her children. But now it was different, they may have planned on not dipping into having a family but now it was happening. And he needed to know that she was alright. 

“I…” he ran his hands together, careful with his words. “Are you...okay with all of this?”

He frowned at himself, he was sure there was another way to approach the subject but he had yet to find out how. She matched his frown as she leaned forward and put her elbows against the counter. Leanne knew what he was asking, in fact she was surprised it took him this long to even ask. A small smile tugged at her lips as she pushed herself up from the counter and closed the space between them. 

Taking his hands she placed them on the small mound of her belly, her hands resting on top of his as she nodded. 

“I’m more than okay, Neal.” 

He relaxed at her words, however there was still part of him that wasn’t fully convinced. She had lost two children, something no parent should ever have to go through. And a few years later she was having another, it couldn’t be easy. 

“You don’t have to worry about the past...yes, it makes me sad that the children are never going to meet this little one.” She cleared her throat a bit and remembered what Jesse had told her. “Jesse said that the kids want me to be happy, and I believe that with all my heart. Perhaps, they sent us this baby.”

He smiled at her words, nodding as he leaned down to kiss her forehead. He pulled up and ran his hand over her belly, the smile still very much evident on his face. Leanne smiled wider and nudged him lightly. “Go shower, I’ll make us some breakfast.”

Neal nodded and kissed her on the lips before pulling away and heading up the stairs. Leanne stayed in her spot and smiled, her hand running over her small growing child. After a moment she moved and went back to the fridge to try and figure out something to make them. She was starving, and she knew once Neal smelt food cooking he would be hungry as well. 

\--

Three weeks had past since Neal first told his parents about the baby, Leanne was now seventeen weeks along, just at the beginning of the second trimester, and Neal was starting to notice a major change in her body. He wondered when the Residents, as well as the rest of their colleagues would notice as well. She was showing sooner, which she told him to expect since it was her third child and her body was already used to what it had to go through. 

She already had to buy new scrub tops, and was starting to get frustrated with the fact that a lot of her pants didn’t fit. They had seen Craig a few weeks ago, and everything was progressing fine, he got a new set of sonogram pictures and once they had gotten home he had called his mom, showing her the progress of her grandbaby. 

He was also noticing a change in her daily habits, she was letting a few things slide around the house. The obsessive need to do laundry on a particular day, or to vacuum more than once a week. Instead she let the laundry slightly pile up, and he was more than sure she hadn’t touched the vacuum for about two weeks now. Jesse had also come around more, for the both of them. His mother would send him with food ever since she was told the news, and on occasion he would make Leanne and Neal dinner. Today, however Jesse thought it a good idea to get Neal out of the house. 

One their days off they seemed shut in, Leanne it was understandable, but the last few days Jesse had noticed that Neal was getting on Leanne’s nerve. She wouldn’t say it to his face, but the short words and the slight snapping gave Jesse his signs. So while she did whatever it was she chose to do at home Jesse took Neal out for lunch. 

With a comforting silence Leanne took it to relax, or so she thought. Instead she did all of the laundry, vacuumed and worked on clearing out the spare room upstairs. She was quite pleased with herself, but also quite exhausted. Knowing she still had time to herself she got cleaned up and started to get food ready for work the next day. She was about halfway finished when the front door unlocked and swung open. Neal’s voice called outside, saying goodbye to Jesse and then shutting the door. 

“Something smells great!”

Leanne smiled softly, clicking the tupperware closed and then going to the fridge. “Lunch for tomorrow...how was your day?”

She heard a bag ruffle, and she inquisitively raised her brow. She shoved the containers onto one of the shelves and turned just as Neal walked into the kitchen. 

“What's in the bag?”

Neal laughed sheepishly and set it on the counter, “Well, you see we had lunch near the bookstore...and we may have gone into just to take a look...and I may have wondered to the baby section.” 

Leanne smiled a bit and leaned against the counter as he took out each book and set them out. She picked up one of them, ‘What to expect during your first pregnancy.’ 

She set it down and looked at the small pile that had started to form. She couldn't help the smirk on her lips. 

“I may have gotten carried away.” 

Leanne shook her head, “No...well.” She laughed lightly, “Maybe just a bit.”

He shrugged lightly and reached over to take her hands, “I'm just excited…” 

She squeezed his hands, “I know, and I love that you are. So get all the books you need or want my love.”

Neal smiled and squeezed her hands back, he let go of them and picked up one of the books. Flipping through some of the pages he stopped and read, letting the book fall forward a bit he looked up at her, “Did you know that right now that the baby’s hearing is developed, we can play music to it!” 

Leanne smiled wide and nodded, her hand going to the more visible roundness of her belly. Neal laughed and went back to the book. Leanne knew how much she loved Neal, but she didn’t know her love could grow more and more as he learned new things about their baby. This man, she thought wasn’t the lucky one, it was her who had become lucky. Never in a million years did she think she would be blessed enough to be loved so unconditionally by two men at two different times.


	5. Chapter 5

“Have you guys noticed the weight Dr. Rorish is putting on?”

Christa raised her brow at Mario, who was sitting across from her at their table in the cafeteria. Mario just tilted his head and took a sip of his soda. 

“What...she is letting herself go. I mean, did you see how many chips she ate the other day?”

Angus rolled his eyes and leaned forward, “Who cares. It’s not like your dating her.”

Mario set his soda down, “You think he dumped her?”

Christa shook her head and went back to eating her sandwich. Malaya, who had been doing her best to ignore the gossip mill set down her fork. 

“It doesn’t matter if he dumped her or not...maybe she is just tired of keeping up. I mean, who cares if she gained weight.”

Putting up his hands in defense Mario leaned back in his chair. 

“I’m just stating the obvious.” 

Leanne glanced up from her paperwork that was on the table, she reached over and grabbed a few fries from Jesse’s plate. 

“I thought you were giving these up?”

Jesse raised his brow at her, “They aren't cigarettes you know.”

Leaning back she smirked, “Might as well be.”

Shaking his head he went back to his meal. She however scanned the room, noting her residents sitting at a table a few feet from them. Pursing her lips a bit she shifted in her seat, they had been glancing in her direction for over ten minutes, and it was starting to get to her. 

Looking in Jesse’s direction she sighed and leaned forward a bit, “They are talking about me…”

Jesse looked up and turned in the resident’s direction. They all looked away, acting as if they hadn’t just been caught by momma. Turning back towards Leanne he gave her a sympathetic look. 

“Probably saying how fat I have gotten.”

He tensed his jaw lightly and grabbed his napkin, wiping his hands he leaned back in his chair. 

“First, your not fat. Second, since when did you start caring what they think?”

Leanne leaned a bit and raised her brow again, “I can’t help it. My hormones are all freaked out.”

Jesse smirked and leaned forward, he closed the to-go container his food had been placed in. 

“Well, unfreak them out..cause it’s freaking me out.”

She laughed lightly and gathered her paperwork and stood up. 

“You freak me out.”

He shook his head and stood up as well, grabbing his food for later he followed her across the floor and out of the cafeteria. 

“Dude...she knew you were talking about her.”

Angus tossed his napkin on his tray. Mario shrugged and went back to finish his food. Slowly they finished and departed, going back to the trauma floor. 

-

Leanne tilted her head as she signed off on some charts, casually she leaned her left hip against the counter at the check-in station. She could see out of her peripheral visual that Angus and Malaya were walking up. Closing the chart she set it to the side and picked up the next chart, glancing over it she hummed a bit and signed off on it. Taking off her glasses she looked up at Angus, her brow raising as he picked up a new chart. Clearing her throat she grabbed one of the charts she had set aside and shoved it to him. 

“First, you need to finish this patient’s work up.”

Quizzically Angus took the chart and opened it up, glancing over his notes he frowned and shut the chart. 

“I did finish it.”

Leanne threw her head back slightly, moving her bangs from her face she narrowed her eyes at him. She was trying to give him time to rethink his previous statement. But she found that he didn’t think it needed to be fixed. Clearing her throat again she licked her lips and slipped her glasses in her pocket of her scrubs. 

“So - you are telling me that there is nothing more you would want to do on this patient?”

Shaking his head his eyes shifted from Malaya back to his attending. 

“Hmm...I beg to differ Dr. Leighton, seeing as you’re patient was brought in for a jail check by the LAPD.”

Angus sighed a bit, pressing his lips together and he re-opened the chart. Leanne watched his face change from pure confidence in his actions to a panicked expression. 

“Did you even bother to check with the officers who brought him in?” She didn’t give him a chance, she knew he didn’t. She had been watching him the whole time. “No, you didn’t. A mistake like this could cause the police their investigation, it could make them seem incompetent in their jobs, and it would fall back on you when the patient is not charged for whatever crime he committed.”

Leanne glanced at her watch and then back at him. He still seemed perplexed as to what he needed to do. She was starting to grow impatient and a slight huff escaped her lips. 

“You have about thirty minutes to take that man’s blood and get a tox-screen.”

Angus looked up at her and nodded, closing the chart he left the station and went back to the curtain area where his patient was. Sighing and shaking her head she grabbed the charts she had been working on and set them behind her to be filed. Turning back around she noticed Malaya still standing there, tilting her head slightly and raising her brow she held her hand out. 

“Do you need an invitation to do your job today Dr. Pineda?”

Quickly shaking her head Malaya grabbed a fresh chart and stepped away from the check-in counter. Leanne turned at the sound of a throat clearing, her brown eyes reaching Neal’s questionable expression. 

“You okay?”

Leanne stood straight, her head shaking. 

“Just a bit tired of the idiocy going around.”

He chuckled a bit and set his hand on her shoulder, lightly squeezing the tense muscles he found there. 

“You practically bit their heads off.”

Leanne sighed, her head hanging forward a bit as she groaned. 

“I know…” shaking her head she lifted it and looked over at him, “my body is freaking out…”

He laughed and nodded, his other hand going to the other side of her shoulder. She relaxed into his touch, a groan escaping her lips as he continued to kneed at her shoulders. 

“It’s entertaining...watching you snap and then be all sweet, like a cat.”

Leanne turned and raised her eyebrow at him. 

Neal stopped what he was doing and took a step to the side, “Channel that to them..not me.”

Rolling her eyes she grabbed a chart from the counter, “I have to get back to work.”

He smirked and nodded, “Don’t forget we have an appointment with Craig around six.”

She nodded and waved her hand at him as she opened the chart. Glancing over the patient's name and brief history she went to the side that they were waiting in. 

Christa raised her brow as she watched Neal depart down to the lounge. She turned when Jesse approached the counter, clearing her throat she pushed some of her hair behind the ear. 

“Hey, momma...who is Craig?”

Jesse gave her a questioning look, he reached over to the pile of charts that needed to be filed. 

“I dunno...maybe he works here.”

Christa wrinkled her nose, Jesse knew everything, so it was very unconvincing that he didn’t know who this Craig person was. She watched as he then walked away and to the office where the charts were held. She shrugged and picked up a new chart, jumping slightly when Malaya set one on the counter. 

“Craig works upstairs.”

Closing the chart Christa put her hand on her hip, “How do you know?”

Malaya signed her chart and closed it, “I did a rotation with him, he is head of the OBGYN department.” 

Christa nodded and bit at her lip, “Thanks.”

The other women smiled and set her chart down, “You bet.” Moving away from the counter she strutted off down the hall. 

Tapping her fingernails against her chart Christa shook her head, “Well..that explains a lot.” Sighing she moved away from the counter and to her patient.


	6. Chapter 6

“I think it would be more efficient if you followed the directions.” Leanne watched as he tried to piece together the sides of the crib. It was annoying that he didn't choose to use the directions it came with, but boys are boys. 

“I don't need directions, I'm a doctor who can insert chest tubes in under a minute, directions.” 

He glanced in her direction just in time to catch the roll of her eyes. Which was adorable, and also annoying at the moment. Leanne had been put on light duty a month ago, when she hit the four month mark. Light cases in the sides, and only when she had no choice would she assist in center stage. She didn't mind it, she was just glad that she wasn't on administrative duty. However the lack of being in center stage had altered her mood, that and the whole pregnant, hormones being crazy thing. 

For the most part they managed, unless tasks like this were at hand. Last week it was the changing table, and instead of just waiting for him she took it upon herself to assemble the thing. Which rose an argument. “Well you may be able to put in a chest tube but you suck at putting together a crib.” 

Neal nodded and laughed, “I suck huh?” 

Leaning against the door frame she nodded, “Yeah you do -- have fun sucking.” She turned and headed out of the room and down the hallway towards the stairs. 

He moved to grab a screwdriver, “at least I'll be sucking alone.” 

“I heard that.” 

Rolling his eyes he moved and pushed the directions aside. His ears perked as the stairs creaked with the pressure of her weight. No matter what they argued about he still loved her. Shaking his head he continued to work on putting the crib together. About an hour and a half later he came down the staircase, as he got to the bottom of the stairs and rounded the corner he heard the television set on. The familiar sound of the narrator from the ID channel making its way into the kitchen. He didn't understand how she watched those shows. Moving to the fridge he grabbed some yogurt and then one of the baby books from the counter.

Neal decide to join Leanne out in the living room, and when he took to sitting next to her he balanced his yogurt on his knee and opened his book. He flipped through a few pages and hummed, “Interesting..” 

Leanne ignored him, at first. But the more he hummed at each thing he read it was hard to ignore. “What is so interesting?” 

He looked over at her, his brow raised as he tapped the book lightly. “Did you know that right now our baby is the size of an avocado?” 

Pressing her lips together she nodded, looking back at the television set. “Is that so?” 

He nodded, “Yep, and probably starting to suck it's thumb.” He flipped the page, then went to his yogurt. Out of the coroner of his eye he could see her watching him. 

“Is that the cheesecake one?” 

Neal hummed, nodding as he held it out for her. She shook her head and went back to her television show. Her hand reaching out and pushing her hair back. He smirked, it was only a matter of time. Lately she hadn't been able to resist herself, and yogurt was among one of those temptations. After reading a bit more he closed the book and set it down on the coffee table. He then set the yogurt down and got up, disappearing back into the kitchen. Leanne smirked, “You snooze you lose,” Her voice hushed as she leaned forward to take the yogurt he had been eating. 

Leaning back against the couch she focused back on her show as she ate the yogurt. When she heard his footsteps come back in the living room she looked up. Guilt ridden as she was mid bite. “You stole my yogurt.” Shaking her head she put the spoon in her mouth. After she was finished she set it back down where he had previously left it. 

“The yogurt monster did.” 

Snorting he sat back down, he knew it was empty so he didn't even have to look. “Yeah, you’re the yogurt monster.” 

Shaking her head she licked her lips. “It was good, just in case you are wondering.” 

Neal bit his lip as a smirk spread across his face. Leaning towards her his hands went to her sides, tickling lightly which caused her to squirm. “I'll be the judge of that.” 

Leaning back more, trying to get out of his grasp she let out a laugh. “Oh really?” 

Nodding he leaned closer, his lips brushing against her own. “Really.” 

 

\-- 

 

“Momma please get me a 12 inch tube, Angus make sure to press harder the tube will get stuck in fatty tissue.” 

Angus nodded, and as Jesse handed her the tube for the other side she jumped lightly. Jesse gave her a concerned look and he got a shake of the head in return. “Angus come over here, make sure that tube us steady before you do. Mario ultrasound the stomach check on the bleeding.” 

The hospital was crowded, and they were down an attending due to the flu that seemed to be sweeping the hospital. Leanne had stepped in to assist, seeing as Neal was with a patient already. The man they were working on had been involved in a fight, and it looked like he was losing. 

“No internal bleeding.” 

Without looking up from her work she raised her brow. “Did you check the spleen?”

She glanced up as Mario did the ultrasound again, shaking his head. “spleen is ruptured.” 

“Never just check one isolated area, especially with stab wounds.” She took off her glasses with the balls of her hands. “He's ready to go to the OR, you can transport him Dr. Savetti, Dr. Leighton I need you in sides.” 

The younger men nodded and did as they were told. She took off her gloves and tossed them on the floor, hooking her glasses in her breasts pocket before heading towards the nurses station. She could feel Jesse quick on his feet to follow, “It was nothing, just a little protest from the baby.” 

Jesse frowned, “it seemed more than just a protest. You've been on your feet all day.” 

She finished her notes and handed the chart to Isabelle. “I'm fine. I'm doing my job, babies kick you know.” 

He nodded, almost comically.“I also know Craig said your blood pressure was getting high.” 

Turning towards him she raised her left brow, “the only person who knows that, besides Craig and I is Neal” .” Leanne pursed her lips when Jesse gave her a nonchalant shrug. Moaning at her discontent she bit the inside of her cheek before pointing at him. “Stop talking to Neal about my blood pressure.” 

“Fine, I’ll just go to Craig instead.”

She gave him a tisk before moving away from the counter. He smirked lightly as he watched her disappear down the hallway. Man, was she stubborn. He hoped, for Neal’s sake that the child didn’t get that from her. 

“So, are you guys excited? Babies are exciting.” 

Neal looked up from his cup of coffee, “Oh - yes, we are excited.” He watched as Chirsta took it upon herself to sit down across from him. He set down his cup and leaned back in his chair. 

“How far along is she now? Almost five months?”

Nodding he checked his watch, “Yes, almost five. We are supposed to find out what we are having in a few days.”

Christa nodded and innocently offered him some potato chips. Neal shook his head, “I’m trying to be good, Leanne was put on a strict diet.” 

She retracted her hand, “Oh, do they think she has diabetes?” 

“What - no. I mean, I suppose it is just in case. She’s always been kind of a health nut anyway, so it isn’t much of a change from her regular diet.” 

Popping a chip in her mouth she cleared her throat, “Is she going to have a baby shower? That would be nice, have a small one here at the hospital.” 

Neal quickly shook his head as he reached for his coffee, “She doesn’t want one, which is fine. They are for the women anyway. We have what we need for now, plus my parents have been quite spoiling in the department of getting things for the baby.”

Christa made a disappointing sound, her brows furrowing as she leaned back in her own chair. “But how fun, to have another baby shower. She is lucky, to be able to have another child at her age.” 

Frowning Neal tilted his head. “Yeah, I suppose you are right. It’s her decision on the baby shower. I’m sure either way it would be nice.” He got up, smiling lightly at her before moving out of the longue. Christa smirked a bit, finished her potato chips and went to seek out Malaya. 

 

\--

“Did Jesse talk to you about this?”

Neal shook his head, they had just gotten back from the appointment with Craig. Finally finding out what they were going to have, a girl. Even though they were over the moon with the news it seemed to be pushed aside by Leanne’s bothersome discussion with Jesse a few days prior. 

“I just heard, from someone and I was concerned.”

Rolling her eyes she shoved her phone into her pocket. No one was answering her texts, and it seemed to be an unusually quiet night in the emergency room. “It was not all day, for the record. It was a few hours, and we were swamped. I wasn’t going to sit there behind the nurses station and watch everything go to hell.”

Shoving his hands in his pockets he sighed, “It wasn’t all going to hell.”

“Last time I checked Neal there were two attendings, four residents who don’t know their asses from their heads sometimes, and five nurses. Please, do tell me how that wasn’t going to go to hell?”

Shrugging defeated they rounded the coroner to the lounge. “Can we just, not fight right now. At this particular moment? Because we just found out the greatest news, and -- my talking to Jesse about how concerned I am is getting in the way of that.”

Leanne stopped, her sneakers squeaking as she did so. “HA, So you did talk to Jesse.” 

Biting his bottom lip he hunched his shoulders forward, his hands coming out of his pockets and going to her shoulders. “Leanne.”

She briefly closed her eyes, giving him a small smirk. “Alright, I’m dropping it. It doesn’t matter.” He smirked back at her and leaned towards her, his lips placing a soft peck to her own. He mumbled a thank you before pulling back. Moving from their spot in the hallway she proceeded to the lounge, pulling the door open, however stopping short at the sudden burst of collected surprises from her colleagues. The calm lounge had been decorated in a gender neutral scheme, a cake set out on one of the tables along with an assortment of foods, and then some gifts. Christa beamed and came over to them, “I didn’t know what color so I kind of picked one, but we wanted to do something special for you guys.”

Leanne looked up at Neal, giving him a glare that he was sure could kill. She then turned back at Christa and gave her a smile that was hiding the annoyance and frustration she now felt. “It’s perfect.” 

Christa sighed in relief, “Good!” She lightly took Leanne’s hand and lead her into the lounge, “We have food, and cake, I heard that you loved coffee ice cream so we did a coffee ice cream cake.” 

Neal watched from the door frame, stretching his neck for he knew once they were home the fireworks would happen. He felt someone behind him, stepping aside a bit he looked over at Jesse. The shorter man was laughing lightly and shaking his head, “Man, are you in trouble.” Neal groaned and looked back into the room. Leanne was being surrounded by nurses, attendings and residents from other departments and even a few of the paramedics that came in. He could tell by her body language that she was less than please, but unless you knew Leanne like him or Jesse you would never know. 

Groaning again he nodded, “I am very much in trouble”


	7. Chapter 7

Leanne tossed the last box of diapers into the nursery, it thumped against the crib that was surprisingly still standing. Neal glanced back at her, he was taking the tags off baby clothes so they could be washed and put away. He knew he was in trouble, he knew from the very moment those lounge door’s opened. He knew when they drove home with a car full of baby items, he knew as they started unpacking and Leanne had yet to say a word. Which meant, her anger was sitting, festering and collecting until she couldn’t handle it anymore. He was waiting, and he would sit there and take it like Jesse had told him to do. Neal just continued to do as he had seen her do, once the tags were off the baby clothes he collected them and went downstairs to do laundry. Leanne had gone to lay down, and he was making sure to be very quiet. 

Perhaps after her nap they would talk. Well, more he would be yelled at and listen. But nothing came, instead she cooked dinner, and as if nothing had ever happened they sat down and ate. It was frightening, he had never seen her this way. Well, except one time. But that was after the accident, shock was to blame for her daily mannerisms that she kept on with. But this, this was scary. Normally with Leanne there was a blow up, a burst of anger and words, not this silence. 

Three days, she didn’t speak a single word about the surprise baby shower that Christa had given her. He had voiced his concern, but Jesse just told him to be thankful she hadn’t said anything yet. It was exactly as if the party had never happened. She carried conversation, made him dinner and breakfast, even cuddled up to him when they were sleeping. Maybe she wasn’t mad after all - maybe she liked the baby shower but didn’t want to admit it to him. Neal finally relaxed, he figured after three days it wasn’t that big a deal anymore. Man, was he completely wrong. 

“Are you going to move faster than a snail today Dr. Lorenson?” 

The anger that carried in Leanne’s words definitely turned some heads. It wasn’t that busy, by any means in the er. The sides were almost cleared out, which gave the residents some more one-on-one time with their attendings. And much to Neal’s surprise Leanne had told Christa she was with her that day. Probably not a good idea, now that Neal thought about it. 

“I’m sorry Dr. Rorish -- i’m not exactly sure -- “

Leanne put her hands on her sides, “Are you about to tell me that during the seven months you have been in this program you haven't inserted a catheter?” 

“Maybe, once or twice.” 

Licking her lips Leanne rose her brow, her irritation growing as she stood and watched her resident fail at a simple task. “Move over.” 

Christa quickly did as she was told, and Leanne took over, inserting the device in a blink of an eye. Pulling back she tapped the patient on the knee to have them sit back. When they were covered she flung back the curtain of the sides and ripped off her gloves.  
“The numbing medication has a small time frame, if you do not insert the catheter in that time you have to wait another two hours.” 

Christa was on her heel, Leanne stopped at the nurses station and grabbed another chart, opening it and scanning it she closed it and turned around. “History, blood work, you think you can handle that?”

The blonde nodded, taking the chart from Leanne and turning around. Sighing heavily Leanne pursed her lips, “If you read the chart doctor you would see that they are in the waiting area and not in sides.” She watched as the frazzled resident turned on her feet, almost knocking into a nurse and going to the waiting area. Pressing her lips together she left the nurses station, she moved to the lounge and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge before heading back out to the floor. 

The day didn’t progress any much better. And now, along with the harsher commands at Christa she was also glaring at her. The rest of the staff knew better, the wrath was better when it was just directed at one person, and unfortunately it was the one that seemed to have caused the most trouble. Neal had rounded the corner to see Leanne looked at her watch, glancing ahead of her he smirked slightly as Christa was desperately trying to put in a central line. 

“You have about a minute before I push you aside and do it myself.” 

Neal looked back at Leanne, who now had her arms crossed over her chest. He bit as his lip, and decided it was time to stop whatever this was. Stepping forward he went to the other side of the bed. 

“Angle it, and push. It is easier that way.” 

He could feel Leanne’s eyes burning into his back. But enough was enough. She was angry, and it wasn’t fair to Christa that she only received that anger. He stepped back and nodded as she was able to get the central line in. Christa stepped back as well, giving him a smile and a thank you. 

Leanne moved from her spot and shoved the chart against his chest. “All your’s Dr. Hudson.” Neal couldn’t help but sigh as she walked away, turning back to Christa he smiled and nodded towards the patient. 

“Get his labs done, let me know when they get back.”

Turning on his heel he followed Leanne down the hallway. You know, for being almost five months pregnant she sure was still quick on her feet. Neal had to practically jog to keep up with her, and when he did he could feel the irritation in the air. 

“Leanne -- honey, please stop walking.”

Turning on her heel she did, and he practically ran into her. Her head was tilted, and her brow raised. 

“Erm, you shouldn’t be so hard on Christa.”

“Why not? She is a first year resident who can’t put in a central line faster than five minutes, she could kill someone like that. I’m only teaching her.”

Neal wrinkled his nose, “You were a little short with her earlier.”

Leanne licked her lips, “Why, because she couldn’t put in a catheter? If I hadn’t have done it myself she could have given the patient unnecessary wait time for another chance. So tell me again, how short was I really?”

He frowned, “Look, if you are angry about the baby shower thing it’s not her fault. It is all my fault.”

She shifted on her feet, her hands going to her hips, “Angry -- about the baby shower. How about angry about the fact that most of the hospital had NO idea that we were having a baby, now the entire universe knows -- “

“I wouldn’t say the entire --”

“Do not interrupt me Neal Hudson.” He nodded, his hands going into his pockets. “Or, how about angry that you can’t keep your mouth shut about something that is between you and I, and not you and Christa, or you and anyone else for that matter. After all I’m the one carrying your child for nine months. So no, I’m not angry about the baby shower, in fact it was quite lovely, and we got a few things we needed for the baby. Plus, there was coffee ice cream cake. I’m angry at you, and right now I don’t want to be angry at you because when I checked my blood pressure this morning it was a tad bit high for my taste. So instead I decided to do my job and teach a first year resident, and sure maybe I was a bit short with her this morning, but she needs to learn because if she goes off to a different hospital someone may not be as nice as I am. Even though, I don’t like them to think I’m nice - SO, if we are done talking about my anger and the baby shower I’d like to go get one of those brownies I saw Jesse eating early, even though I could have sworn I told him to stop eating brownies. Is that okay with you?” 

Neal nodded, “Yeah, that sounds great.”

Leanne smiled, “Excellent.” 

He watched as she turned on her heel and headed down the hallway. As she disappeared from his sight he shook his head, his hand moving from his pocket to the back of his neck. Turning around himself he headed back towards center stage to finish the patients he had been working on. 

\-- 

_‘She said all that?’_

“I swear Jesse I don’t even think she breathed.”

Neal rolled his eyes as Jesse laughed over the phone. He mumbled something about her being something else. Sighing Neal shook his head, “If you don’t hear from me for a few days, it’s because she killed me and I’m somewhere in Los Angeles.”

_‘Nah, she won’t kill you. She likes you, or so I’m told.'_

It was his turn to laugh, his head turning at the sound of her voice. “Hey she is calling me, I gotta go -- and remember we don’t talk anymore, ever.”

_‘You got it.’_

Neal hung up the phone, tossing it on the bed before heading down the hallway. “Hey babe, you called me?”

Leanne looked up from the book, “I’m in the nursery.” Neal backed up and went into the nursery. He smiled slightly as he saw her sitting in the new rocking chair his mother had gotten. 

“Whats up?”

She held out the baby book, “We have to pick a name -- we can’t have a nameless child.”

Neal snorted and moved closer, he sat down on the small ottoman that came with the rocking chair, her legs immediately going to his lap.

“What do you think of Andrea?”

“No- Alexandria? Alex for short.” 

Leanne shifted her feet, her hands going to her belly and lightly running them back and forth. “What about Allison?” 

He shook his head, thumbing through a few pages before closing the book, his hands when to her socked feet, lightly rubbing. “What was your mums name?” 

Leaning her head back she sighed, “Hazel -- Hazel Rene Rorish.” 

Neal nodded, humming as he thought. “Hazel, I like that name.” 

Rolling her eyes she set her other hand on her belly. “It's so old fashioned, how many little girls do you know named Hazel?” 

“Ours, if you want.” 

Wrinkling her nose again she pressed her lips together. “Hazel Asra Hudson...you'd think she hate us if we named her that?” 

Neal laughed lightly, “I think, regardless of what we name her at some point in her life she will hate us.” 

Matching his laugh she nodded, “I can confirm that.” one of her hands fell from her belly to tuck some hair behind her ear. Neal glanced down at her feet, he had noted that they her ankles had gotten slightly swollen. Licking his lips he looked back up at her. 

“So, did we settle? Hazel Asra Hudson?” 

A smile spread across her lips as she nodded to him. “Yes, I like it. And I'm sure your mother is going to love it as well.” 

He scoffed, “We will never hear the end of it.”

His smile grew wider when she let out a laugh, his hand stopping their movements on her feet and going to her legs. He leaned forward more and pressed a kiss to her growing belly. 

“There, now we don’t have a nameless child.”

Leanne smirked, “thank god.”

He pulled back and sighed, “Leanne, I truly am sorry about the whole baby shower thing.”

Frowning she shook her head, “it doesn’t matter any more.”

Neal nodded, deciding that she was right. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was this, them two and their baby, their Hazel. “You hungry?”

“Of course, can we get Chinese though?”

Nodding he laughed and moved her legs from his lap, standing up he extended out his hands for her to take. “Chinese sounds perfect.”


	8. Chapter 8

“How does that look?”

Leanne turned around, tilting her head at the setup of the nursery. Neal’s parents had flown out from England a few days prior, wanting to help as much as possible, especially since Leanne was fully on maternity leave. 

“I like it, we are going to need to figure out a place to hang up that picture we got today.”

Asra nodded. She turned back to the dresser, which was now full of baby clothes. Leanne turned around herself, bracing her hands on the changing table as she knelled down. Letting out a small huff she went to organize the bottom shelf. 

“How have you and Neal been doing?”

Halting her actions she turned slightly towards Asra, the older woman hanging the clothes that didn’t fit in the dresser. Leanne licked her lips, shrugging and going back to her task. 

“We are all right -- it’s hard --” Leanne moved to the middle shelf of the changing table. Moving around a few items that had already been organized. “He’s new at this, and I try to remember that. I just -- sometimes I don’t think he tries to understand me, what I’m going through.”

Asra turned around, leaning her lower back against the dresser. “With the accident?” 

Wrinkling her nose she shook her head lightly, “Not with just the accident. It’s been almost a month since I’ve been out of work, and it’s frustrating. With Amelia and James I worked up until my due date, but with Hazel -- sometimes I can barely get through a day at home without being completely exhausted by noon.” 

Leanne watched as Asra frowned, “And Neal, he tries. He comes home after work, and he helps me with what I need, and he makes sure that I’m eating correctly, and that I take my medication. But, he gets frustrated, and then we fight.” she let out a sigh, turning she grabbed the side of the changing table and pulled herself up from the floor. Her hands ran over her belly, “I don’t know, maybe it will change once the baby gets here.”

“Neal’s scared. He’s not completely sure what he is doing, nor how to help you. It’s going to take time, and the fighting - as I’m sure you know, comes with change.”

Nodding Leanne tucked her hair behind her ear. 

“Perhaps you two need to go out, go on a date to your favorite spot.”

Leanne nodded, “Yeah -- yeah, you are right.” 

Asra smiled, pushing off the dresser and approaching Leanne. “Come, let’s go get something to eat, get you out of the house for a bit.”

\-- 

“Discharge her, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this patient Dr. Lorenson.” 

Christa shifted on her feet, “I feel like there is - if I could just run some more tests -.” 

“I’m not going to authorize thousands of dollars worth of tests based on your _feelings_. Discharge her, now.” 

Gina shoved the chart back towards Christa, reluctantly it was taken and she turned quickly on her heels. Going back to the nurses station she slammed down the chart, as a result Neal jumped. His brow raising as he finished his notes and shut his own chart. “Bad day?” 

“Yeah - I was just told to discharge a patient.” 

Neal nodded. “Well, she’s the boss.” 

Christa rolled her eyes, “She's making the wrong call. If she’d just let me run a few more tests, I know something isn't right. Your acting residency director, don’t you have a say in that discharge decision?”

Pressing his lips together he shook his head. “Gina already told you to discharge her, so as acting residency director - discharge her.”

Neal watched as Christa huffed and left the nurses station. He followed her figure walking towards the sides where the patient was at. Sighing he ran his hand over his face, dropping his hand he turned around and headed towards the walk-ins. 

\-- 

“He must be busy, I don’t want to bother him if he is busy -- “

“Nonsense, Neal is never too busy. Plus, I’m sure he would enjoy the distraction.” 

Leanne cocked her brow at Asra, who was putting the shopping bags in the back of the car. 

“We are only five minutes from the hospital, we could just swing by.”

Licking her lips she sighed and then nodded, “Alright, but if he is busy I don’t want to bother him. He has a lot on his plate, especially short a doctor.”

Climbing into the passenger seat of the car she buckled up, smirking a bit at Asra’s content expression as she got into the driver's seat. They left the small shopping center, where they had just went crazy buying baby items, and headed the short distance to the hospital. 

\-- 

“She wasn’t HEALTHY. I knew something was wrong with her, and I discharged her anyway! Now look, she is dead.” 

Christa threw her gloves on the floor as she walked out of center stage, Neal wrinkled his nose and discarded his gloves, following her to make sure that she was alright. 

“Christa, you can’t blame yourself, You had no way of knowing.” 

He stopped as she whipped around, “Yes I did, if you and Gina had just let me run those tests I would have been able to figure out what was wrong with her. But no, I was ordered to discharge her. You know she has three kids waiting for her at home, who woke up this morning hugging and kissing their mom goodbye, and now they have to go to bed without that. And its my fault, I should have fought harder for her.” 

Tensing his jaw he watched as she stormed off again, something he had grown tired of. Following her he pushed open the door she had disappeared behind. 

“It was sudden, no amount of tests would have been able to help her. Maybe, maybe if it had happened while she was still in the hospital she would have had a chance. But we will never know that.” 

The blonde shook her head, the tears evidently streaming down her face. 

“She’ll never get to kiss them again, hug them again. And now, I have to go tell her husband that. That we killed her.”

Biting the bottom of his lip he shook his head, stepping forward and placing his hands on her shoulders. “Listen to me -- THIS was not your fault.”

\-- 

“I’ll wait here.” Asra put the car in park as Leanne unbuckled her belt. She nodded to the older woman as she pushed open the door, first with her hands and then lightly with her foot. Sighing lightly she shut the door and slowly made her way to the emergency room entry. 

It wasn’t as busy as she expected, and she knew that finding Neal would be no small feat. She had already been stopped five times since she entered the emergency room, first from concerned faces, and then excited ones. After about the seventh person she declared that she was looking for Neal. Risa, the nurse who had most recently been cooing over her very pregnant belly declared that he had gone around the corner and possibly to the supply room. Leanne thanked her and headed in the familiar direction. She smiled when she saw Neal’s figure, she knew things had been rocky between them, but she couldn’t help but get those small butterflies when she saw him. Going to the supply closet door she punched in the code and pushed it open, she was about to step in, but the unexpected sight before her caused her to stop. 

His hands were on her shoulders, and the blonde’s lips were firmly pressed against his own. Leanne felt a jolt of pain run through her body, her hand instinctively going to her belly as the belly let out a kick, most likely from the pain. A lump in her throat had started to form, and she hadn’t meant to make the sound that had slipped from her lips. The two jolted back, and both eyes went wide as they saw who had caught them. Stepping back she let the door close, moving as quickly as she could from the supply closet and back to the entrance of the emergency room. Leanne could feel her heart rate rise, her pulse pump through her veins, she could feel it in her neck, her head as she continued to move through center stage’s area. 

Leanne’s eye’s fluttered as the pain ripped through her again, this time it had caused her to stop, both her hands going to her belly as she hissed inwardly. She closed her eyes, trying to count to ten, but all she saw was the emptiness, the lonely nights spent with a screaming newborn. She felt a hand on her shoulder, instantly her eyes shot opened, her body withdrawing at the hand until she realized it was Angus. 

“Dr. Rorish, are you alright?”

Concern was etched on his face, and he was surely not convinced as she nodded and started to move again. She had heard him call her, but she didn’t turn around, instead she kept her pace and went out to the car. Asra’s features had changed drastically, she could see Leanne making her way, slowly, to the car, and Neal running after her. Biting the inside of her cheek she got out of the drivers side and went over to the passenger side, opening the door for Leanne, who was mere feet away. 

“What happened?”

Leanne had her hands on her belly, only when she went to climb into the car did she steady herself with another hand. “Lets just go home.”

Asra watched as Neal yelled out her name again, telling her to stop. But the expression on Leanne’s face said otherwise. Getting back into the driver's side she shut the door and started the car. 

“Mum! Mum please stop!”

He threw up his hands as she backed out of the spot and pulled away. He could hear quick footsteps behind him, and as he turned back around Christa stopped running. “I’m sorry Neal, look let me go talk to her I can -- “

“Stop! You have done enough.” He stormed past her, leaving her standing in the hospital parking lot.


	9. Chapter 9

Asra looked over at Leanne, she had turned more towards the passenger door, her eyes scanning the passing cars. She ran her hand up and down her growing belly as her other pinched at her bottom lip. Asra could could hear the sniffles from her every now and then. Clearing her throat she looked back at the road, her grip on the steering wheel changing lightly. “What happened?” 

Leanne shook her head lightly, wiping the tears that were falling down her cheeks with the back of her hand. “He was in the stockroom, with one of our residents.” 

Nodding she bit the inside of her cheek, “In the stockroom.” 

“Kissing, he was kissing her.” Leanne's voice rose slightly, her hand continuing to rub against her belly. She put the back of her free hand against her lips. Her nose hurting as another wave of tears threatened her. She swallowed the lump in her throat, her eyes closing as she felt her heart beat rise. 

Asra bit the bottom of her lip, continuing to drive in silence. When they got to the house and Asra parked Leanne flung the door open. Disregarding her purse in the back seat she went up the front steps and pushed the front door open. The force of the door hitting the wall caused Peter to jump and stand from the couch. Leanne went straight up the stairs, holding onto the bannister as she did so. 

Stepping into the house Asra looked over at Peter, who went to question what he had just witnessed. Shaking her head she followed Leanne up the stairs. Before she could reach the top landing she heard drawers being opened and shut. Asra stepped into the doorway of the master bedroom, she watched as Leanne went to the bedroom window, pushing the latch open and discarding Neal's clothing out onto the side drive. 

“Maybe you should wait to see what he has to say.”

One by one his sneakers started to fly out the window. “There is no excuse. Kissing another woman!” 

Asra nodded, “Fair enough.” Licking her lips she continued to watch the upset women. Crossing her arms over her chest she leaned against the doorframe. Leanne continued her rampage of the bedroom, only halting when she heard Neal's car in the drive. Moving towards the window she poked her head out, her hands going to the window seal as she watched him exit the car. 

“Don't you come in this house Neal!”

He halted, throwing his hands up. “We have to talk Leanne.” 

She groaned as he moved towards the side door of the house, the one that would lead him into the kitchen. Pushing herself from the window she moved as quickly as she possibly could, she passed Asra who thought it wiser to just move out of the way. Holding on to the bannister once again she made her way down the stairs. 

“Why are all my clothes outside?”

Reaching the bottom of the stairs she stopped, sighing heavily as she ran her hand over her belly. Pushing away the small pain she moved into the kitchen. “Because you are moving.”

Rolling his eyes he shook his head. “Just let me explain.” 

“Explain what? How I caught you with Christa, of ALL people in the stock closet kissing! Go ahead Neal, try to explain that one.”

He shifted on his feet, he would be lying if he said it didn't happen. Because Leanne was far from blind and stupid. However it was far from wanted, he loved Leanne.

“Wow, your silence is deafening.” 

Neal sighed, “Leanne, I'm not going to say what you saw was not happening -- but it was nothing you have to believe me.”

Biting the inside of her cheek she shook her head, “That’s not what it looked like Neal,” she closed her eyes tightly and then reopened them. “I don't want to hear your excuses. I want you out of my house.” 

“You are overreacting”

Leanne smirked, her jaw setting. “Overreacting, are you fucking kidding me?” 

Sighing he ran his hand over his unruly hair, “Leanne, please.”

Pressing her lips together she shook her head, her brow furrowing as the tears collecting in her eyes. “I said get out.”

Neal flinched at the force of her words, he went to move towards her, but her hands going up halted him. Her anger collecting the more he protested at leaving, Neal reached out to her, lightly grabbing her hand. she quickly withdrew, her hands making contact with his chest to push him back. 

“I said get out!” She felt her bottom lip quiver as the few tears slipped from the corner of her eyes. Leanne watched as he backed towards the side door. He shook his head, sighing in a slight defeat. 

“Baby, please. I love you, this isn’t what you think it is. I swear it.”

Scoffing at his words she shook her head as well as a few more tears slipped down her cheeks, “You have an awfully funny way of showing it Neal.” 

“I can explain, I swear.”

Setting her jaw she stepped back, her right hand going to the island to steady herself. “I want you to get your shit off my drive, and get out of here.” she bit the inside of her cheek, her face contorting more as the need to sob uncontrollably got stronger. “Now Neal!” Her hand flew off the counter and pointed at the door that was mere feet from him. 

Hearing enough of the back and forth Asra stepped into the kitchen. Licking her lips she looked over at her son, “Neal, I think it is time for you to go.”

His brown eyes reached the figure of his mother, nodding he looked back over at Leanne. She was avoiding eye contact, and he could see the tears start to freely roll down her cheeks. “Yeah --” 

Turning around he opened the door that would lead him out into the drive, stepping out into the day he sighed and gathered what clothing and shoes were sprawled out over the asphalt. Asra looked over at Leanne, stepping closer she went to put her hand on the other woman’s shoulder. Leanne tilted her head, her eyes closing as she tried not to cry out in pain right there in the kitchen. Stepping forward she went around the island, “I’m fine.” Asra turned and watched as she headed out of the kitchen and towards the stairs. Peter moved out of the way, sighing softly as she headed up towards the bedroom, the slight click of the door closing making him look over at his wife. 

“What exactly just happened?”

Asra sighed, “Leanne went to visit Neal at work, she found him kissing one of the resident’s in the stock closet.”

She could hear Peter sigh, stepping up on the stairs she wrinkled her nose. “I’m going to go see if she is alright.”

Asra headed up the stairs, stopping at the closed door, she knocked lightly. She waited a bit longer, not hearing anything she knocked again. Leanne sat on the edge of their bed, her hand on her belly, running back and forth trying to soothe herself and the baby. She heard the knocking, and chose to ignore it, until the second one could be heard against the other side of the door. “I’m fine, Asra -- really.”

Biting her lip she put her hands flat against the door. “We are right across the hall, we aren't going anywhere.” 

Closing her eyes tightly she sighed, she moved from the edge of the bed to the middle. Sinking down against the sheets, laying down on her side she curled her knees to her belly. Her hand flattening against the cool sheet as she listened to the sound of her heart beating. She didn’t understand how Neal could do this to them. Letting out a soft sob she closed her eyes, the tears falling down her cheeks and to the sheets under her. Her sleep finally took over, letting her forget, for the time being, what had transpired a few hours before. 

The sudden feeling of pain ripping through her back and abdomen caused her to jump awake. Her hand immediately going to her belly. Leanne groaned, pushing herself up to a sitting position. She gasped as another pain ran through her body, tensing her jaw she leaned to her side and reached to switch on the lamp. Looking down she gasped again, the light blue sheets were stained with blood. Leanne felt her heart jump into her throat, her heart rate rising as she pushed herself up from the bed, her hands going to cradle her stomach as she moved towards the door. Pulling it open she went to move across the hallway, stopping as another wave of pain hit her. Crying out she leaned against the bannister. 

Asra moved out of their bedroom, flipping the hallway light on and gasping as well. “Peter!” 

She moved over to Leanne, her hands going to steady her as Peter headed out of the guest bedroom. “What?”

“Call an ambulance.”

\-- 

“So she kicked you out?”

Neal nodded, “When I got home my clothes and shoes were in the side driveway.”

“Did you try to explain to her?”

Tilting his head he looked over at Jesse, “Have you tried explaining anything to her when she is upset?”

“Good point.”

Sighing Neal tossed the pen that was in his hand on the desk. “I don’t know what to do --”

Both Jesse and Neal straightened up a bit when they saw Risa and Guthrie run past the nurses station. Standing up Neal frowned, “Did you hear dispatch at all?”

Jesse shook his head and shrugged, following the trail towards the ambulance bay. Guthrie was helping them get a gurney down from the ambulance, the paramedic spitting out whatever symptoms the patient was having.

“Forty-five year old, about sixth months pregnant, hypertension, bleeding, back and abdominal pain. In and out due to the low blood pressure.” 

Neal stopped before the ambulance bay, his stomach dropping as he watched his mother and father step out of the ambulance, blood on their clothes and hands. He pushed past Jesse, the instant need to vomit hitting him as he watched Guthrie push the gurney, with Leanne on it, inside and to center stage. 

“Page OB, get me an ultrasound now, get me ‘a’ positive.” Guthrie took the ultrasound wand from Risa, pulling back Leanne’s shirt he set the wand on her belly. Moving it around a bit he glanced at Leanne, she was gripping the side of the gurney, her color drained, her hazel eyes wide as she watched Guthrie. Jesse stepped to the other side of the gurney, her eyes following his touch as he lightly pushed back some of her hair. “We got you daddy -- hold on okay?”

A tear fell from the corner of her eyes, making her already clammy skin even more so. Guthrie looked back at the screen, shaking his head lightly.“We have a placenta abruption. Did we page OB?”

Risa nodded, “Dr. Lane is on his way.” 

Neal looked over at his parents, both of them off to the side and out of the way of the working doctors. “What the hell happened?”

Shaking her head Asra glanced over towards Leanne, “She said she was fine, fell asleep, I heard a noise and she was in the hallway - I..she never said anything.”

Guthrie looked over at the monitor, “Lets get an oxygen mask on her please.” Jesse kept one of his hands on her shoulder, grabbing the mask and putting it over her nose and mouth. Guthrie frowned, his hand going to Leanne’s arm. “Hang in there.”

Craig rushed in, one of his nurses stepping into the take Risa’s place. “I;m here - what is going on?”

“She has a placenta abruption.”

“Does it look like any of the placenta is intact?”

Guthrie shook his head, “No -- baby’s heart rate is high.”

Craig nodded, “How much blood has she lost?”

Shaking his head he shrugged, “Hard to say, paramedics said she was bleeding at the house before they got there.” 

Craig nodded again, “Alright - let’s get going then.” Jesse stepped back, her hand instantly reaching out for him. 

“Jesse.”

He smiled and leaned forward, kissing the top of her forehead. “I’ll see you up there -- it is going to be alright.” 

Leanne nodded, her hand letting go of his as he stepped back. Craig and his nurse pushed the gurney from center stage and towards the elevators. Jesse followed, Neal quick on his heels. 

“Are you taking the baby out now?”

Craig turned as his nurse pushed the button for the elevator. “If I keep her in there they can both die. So yes - we are taking the baby out.”

As the door dinged opened Jesse helped pull the gurney into the elevator, glancing over at Neal. “Regardless of what happened she needs you Neal. They both do.”

Licking his lips he nodded and stepped into the elevator. He reached out for her other hand, and she took it. Squeezing lightly he nodded again, “It is going to be okay - you hear me?”

Nodding slightly she closed her eyes, the tears falling as she reopened them when they elevator opened again. Pushing the gurney back out Craig let go of the rail, moving to the nurse's station. “Susan, get a NICU bed ready, warming blanket - we will be on OR two.”

The nurse nodded and picked up the phone, Craig turned around and pointed at Jesse and Neal. “If you two are going to be in there you need to gown up. Now.” 

Jesse and Neal nodded, Neal turned towards Leanne, his hand brushing against her forehead. “I’ll be right back okay -- I promise.”

Pulling back Neal watched as the first nurse took the gurney and pushed it towards the operating room. Shaking his head he dropped it, his hand going to his forehead as he felt his own tears threaten to spill. Jesse sighed softly, his hand touching Neal’s arm. “Come on.”


	10. Chapter 10

Neal tugged at the collar of his surgical gown, his throat dry as he waited impatiently to be told that they were ready for him. Everything was louder than he remembered, the squelch of the gloves, the friction of the cheap fabric against his body as he rocked back and forth on his heels. He had been quickly given the surgical uniform that consisted of a blue gown, cap and gloves by a passing nurse. Standard procedure, items that he had once worn religiously as a surgical resident, items that now felt oddly strange to him. He gazed in the direction of the operation room, a place he had once been so eager to step foot in now held his greatest fears. The love of his life, and their child. Taking his gaze away from the door he looked down at the blindly white tile, his jaw clenched as he felt his heart start to race. He felt numb, like the whole word was going to completely end the moment he stepped foot into the room. His head jolted up at the eerie squeak of the door being pushed opened, Craig stood there, dressed exactly as he was. Yet his blue eyes were strong, hopeful, and not faltering at the situation he was going to face. “Neal, she is asking for you.”

Nodding he inhaled sharply and followed Craig into the room. The world didn't end, yet Neal was treading carefully. Jesse was already by her side, his much larger hand on her right shoulder. He was sitting in a stool that had been placed on her side, he nonchalantly pushed back her hair into the surgical cap that she had been given, as if he had done it a million times before. Neal inhaled sharply, swallowing the lump that had tightened his throat the moment he saw her coming into the emergency room. His tongue darted out and moistened his lips before he stepped forward, the nurse beside him rolled another stool to his side and he almost hesitantly took it. Sitting down on the stool he scooted closer to her, his gloved hand going to her cheek. It was stained with tears, her eyes red at the rims from the crying she had been doing. 

He bit the inside of his cheek, he knew he had done this to her. And he wished he could take it all back, every single incident that lead up to the moment they were now at. But he couldn’t, all he could do was try to make it better, and hope that she would forgive him. But, really, how could she?

“Neal?”

At the sound of her voice, which was eerily soothing, he turned towards him. Licking his lips again he leaned down, his lips lightly brushing against her temples. He could feel her close her eyes tightly. When he pulled back he wipe away the tear that was falling with his thumb. “I’m sorry sweetheart.” He moved up, pulling himself closer with his feet. He watched as she shook her head, the oxygen mask over her mouth and nose making her voice muffled. Neal couldn’t hear whatever she had chosen to say, instead he watched as she briefly fluttered her eyelashes and turned her head in the direction of the nurses. She felt a tightness in her chest as Craig’s throat cleared. 

“We are starting Leanne, Neal.” 

Craig didn't halt any longer. And soon the sound of Leanne's heartbeat was all Neal could hear. He took her hand, careful of her IV, his thumb running against the palm of her hand. As a habit her fingers bent around his hand. She let out a small hum as the clanking of surgical tools could be heard in the operation room. A wave of nausea hit her light a freight train, her eyes closing as she swallowed back the feeling. She exhaled, the oxygen mask fogging up with her breath, after a moment she reopened her eyes, blinking back the brightness of the surgical lights. She felt completely alone in a room of people. Pressing her lips together she hummed lightly as she felt her body being poked and prodded at. The pressure disappearing and then reappearing again with more force. “Retractor.”

The things Craig was demanding of his nurses was frightening, though it shouldn't be so. She was a doctor, she’s had to do an emergency cesarean on a patient before. Leanne knew the process, where to cut, how quickly you had to move in order to get the baby out. Maybe, just maybe that is what made it so frightening. She closed her eyes again, counting to ten as she felt another wave of nausea. Moving her free hand she gripped at the sheets below her, her fist taking in a good amount of fabric. 

She felt another hand on her shoulder, her eyes opening to see Jesse. Who was the calm in whatever fucked up storm this was. Letting go of the sheets below her she extended her arm out to him. Lightly he ran his palm up her forearm in a soothing motion, trying to do whatever he could to calm her nerves. Her fingers gripped at his skin, her head going back to lay flat against the surgical bed. The droning sound of the machines beeping becoming harder and harder to hear. Another moan escaped her lips as she felt the pressure rise in her belly, the force of hands inside of her causing her to grip Neal’s hand. He leaned towards her, his lips kissing her clammy forehead as he whispered that it was going to be alright. He sat back up, his other hand going to her forehead and pushing back the cap in an attempt to brush her hair back. 

Out of his peripheral vision Neal saw Craig step back, standing up from his sitting position he watched as the baby was pulled out of Leanne’s womb. A sinking feeling overcame him as he noticed how tiny she was, he felt his heart beat faster as the nurse cut the umbilical cord, a job that he was supposed to do. The nurse cradled his small daughter in her hands and moved away from the main table and towards the small one that housed the equipment needed for a premature baby. Leanne turned her head, craning her neck in a desperate attempt to get a glimpse at their child. “Jesse -” Her voice was muffled and cracked, instantly she let go of Jesse’s arm. Leanne didn’t take her eyes away from the corner of the room, the tears falling freely as she wished to hear her daughter cry. 

Jesse let go of her hand, getting up from his own stool and heading over to the table. He inhaled slightly, the sight of the small baby causing a pang in his chest. He didn’t intrude, didn’t ask for truly he didn’t need too. He knew, at this particular moment he didn’t need to be a nurse, he needed to only be the support Leanne and Neal needed. He watched as the two NICU nurses worked at cleaning Hazel, who wasn’t breathing. He bit the inside of his cheek as he watched one of the nurses reach for the intubation kit. She was careful, and Jesse would have to thank her later for that. They intubation took less than thirty seconds, and soon the baby was getting the assistance she needed to breath. She was soon placed in the incubator and the nurses started to push her out of the room. “I’ll be with her Leanne, mama’s got her.”

Leanne bit her lip, causing the oxygen mask to move ever so slightly as she nodded to Jesse. Soon, the sound of the door closing was heard and she was left again. The feeling of not being able to breath suddenly became stronger, her chest tightened as her head grew dizzy. Her vision became hazy, her head spinning as she looked directly up towards the ceiling. She could hear the beating of her own heart echo in her ears, her fingers gripping more around Neal’s hand. 

He turned towards her, his brows furrowing as she fluttered her eyelashes. “Leanne?”

“BP’s falling.”

Neal’s eyes shifted back and forth over her face, noting the sweat that was more evident on her forehead. The sound of her heart monitor starting to beep faster than before. “Hey. You stay with me, you hear me?” 

“Doctor - she's hemorrhaging.”

Craig’s hand moved quicker, the tugging on her body becoming more forceful as he pulled tools away. “Get me another two liters of ‘A’ positive. Neal get out of here.”

Neal shook his head, this wasn’t happening. He wasn’t going to lose them both. Moving closer to her he pressed his forehead against hers, “Leanne - sweetheart, you stay with me.” 

“Neal, Dr. Hudson.”

The sound of Craig’s voice seemed miles away, the muffled demand of him leaving the operating room barely reaching his ears. Shaking his head again he closed his eyes, “I’m not leaving her.”

“Look at her stats Neal. Her blood pressure is low, she is unconscious and I'm hanging another two units of blood to try and make up for what she is losing. I need to focus, I CAN’T have you in here.”

Biting his lip he opened his eyes, blinking rapidly as the tears fell down his cheeks. He looked at her unconscious expression and let out a sound of pain.The sound of the machines sounded more like car alarms as they kept sounding off. Picking his head up from her forehead he nodded, “Alright.” Slowly he let go of her hand, carefully placing it on her chest. Neal stood, the back of his hand going to his mouth before he leaned down again. His lips brushing against hers as he gave her a quick kiss. “Please, hang on for her.”  


Neal moved from her side, when every fiber in his body told him to stay there. But he knew what Craig said was true, he would only distract him. Pushing the door opened he stepped into the scrub room, his hand pulling off his soaked cap. He moved to toss it in the bin, but instead he lurched forward, vomiting in the disposal as his nerves caught up with him. Gripping the edges of the tall waist bin he closed his eyes, his body shaking as he tried to calm himself down. After a moment he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, standing up he grabbed the gown and ripped it from his body. Taking the gloves off he tossed them in the bin with the other items, wiping his hands on his scrubs pants he moved out of the scrub room and into the hallway. Inhaling sharply he tensed his jaw, his breath hitching in his throat as he moved down the hallway and towards the NICU. 

The hallway seemed narrow as he made his way to the care unit. Each nurse that passed he was sure had been staring at him, or whispering that what was happening was all his doing. Licking his lips he darted his eyes away from them, watching his feet as they carried him towards the door. Clearing his throat he stepped in, grabbing a pink gown that the NICU unit kept for incoming and outgoing doctors. He spotted Jesse, who was still in the blue surgical down near the incubator that now read, ‘Baby Rorish’. Pursing his lips he headed towards him, his eyes moistening again as he knew he would have to tell Jesse what was going on with Leanne. 

“She’s doing alright.”

Neal stepped up to the protective box that held his baby daughter. Air was being pushed through her tiny body by a CPAP, the blood pressure and heart monitor keeping pace with her. She had a small pink cap on her head and was wrapped loosely in a blanket to keep her cords from tangling. He placed his hand gently on the glass, his body leaning forward as he pressed his forehead against it. “This is all my fault.”

Jesse pursed his lips, his gaze moving from Hazel towards his friend. He reached up, his hand going to Neal’s shoulder. “You couldn’t ‘ve known.”

Sniffling Neal let out a sob. His tears dropping to the floor as he shook his head. He stepped back, making Jesse drop his hand. “Leanne started to hemorrhage. I…don’t know what to do.”

Moving his hand down he placed gingerly on the incubator. “Neal, you listen to your mama. These things happen, especially with pregnancies later in life. You could not have predicted this - what you gotta do now is be there for the both of them. Leanne is strong, and so is your little girl.”

Nodding slightly he lifted his head up, looking at his daughter who was no bigger than a well developed eggplant. “Her name is Hazel.” He felt the corners of his mouth pull in a smile, but they quickly fell as he watched her. 

“After Leanne’s mother.”  


Neal turned to Jesse, “Yeah - did you know her?” 

Jesse nodded, a smile pulling at his own lips as he turned to Hazel. “I did, for a short amount of time. It’s a good name, a strong name. You know she was a nurse in the Army, that’s how Leanne’s parents met.” 

After a moment Neal turned back to her, he wished that he could make her better faster. But he knew that she had been deprived the time needed in the womb, and this was the next best thing. 

“God see’s.”

Jesse tilted his head in question. Neal didn’t turn to him, instead he lightly smiled again, his finger running along the glass. “It’s derived from the Hebrew name, hazael. Which means, God sees.”

The clearing of a throat behind them caused them to turn slightly, Neal straightened when he saw one of the nurses. Stepping away from the incubator he widened his eyes, “How is she?”

The blonde haired woman clasped her hands together, “She lost a lot of blood Dr. Hudson.”

Neal could feel his heart rate rise, the pounding in his chest becoming almost painful as he listened to what the woman was saying. 

“Dr. Lane did whatever he could, however, he had to make the decision to do a hysterectomy.” 

His hand went to the back of his neck as he nodded, he squeezed his neck and then dropped his hand. “Is she out of surgery?”

She shook her head, “He is finishing up. We will come let you know when she is out and in a room.”

“Thank-you.” He watched as she walked away and out of the NICU. Sighing he found a rocking chair and sank himself in it. His elbows going to his knees as his head went into his hands. 

Jesse ran his hand over his mouth, sighing as he took a seat next to Neal. The two sat in silence, the day’s circumstances weighing heavily on their shoulders. After a moment Neal dropped his hands from his head and laced his fingers together. They were both alive, and that, at this particular moment was all Neal truly cared about.


	11. Chapter 11

“She is stable, her blood pressure is back up to a place where I'm comfortable. However there will be a lot of pain due to the cesarean and the hysterectomy.” 

Neal nodded at Craig, they were both standing outside of Leanne's hospital room. She was still sleeping, which gave Neal some time to process everything that had happened. Running his hands over his face he let go of a heavy sigh. This, what happened to her, what happened to their daughter was the result of his actions, or perhaps, his lack of actions. Licking his lips he dropped his hands and took in a deep breath, he let it go slowly, which fogged up the glass in front of him. 

“The baby is going to be in the NICU for a while, her lungs are not fully developed -” 

“What are her chances?” 

Craig halted, licking his lips he glanced down at his sneakers. “Fifty - fifty.” 

Neal nodded again, wrinkling his nose he moved from Craig's side and towards the door. Pulling it open he stepped into the room, he quietly shut the door and headed towards the bed. Grabbing the extra chair in the room he brought it over to her bedside, sitting down he reached for her hand. Smoothing out the corner of the tape that held her IV in place he shook his head. No words, in the entire universe could fix everything that had happened. Leaning down he pressed his lips into her hand, then pulled back as he then pressed his forehead against her forearm. He had to wait, for her to wake up, for Hazel to get stronger, for everything to get back to normal. But mostly he just hoped that she would forgive him. 

\-- 

“Neal…”

He picked up his head, his mind and sight still groggy from sleep. His hands left her arm as he ran his hands over his face, maybe he was still dreaming. 

“Neal.”

Looking over in her direction he smiled lightly, he was far from dreaming. Leaning a bit closer and taking her hand in his he smiled wider. “Hey, hey I'm right here.”

Leanne swallowed, wincing as she did from the faint pain from the intubation tube. Clearing her throat, or trying to she licked her lips. 

“You want some water?” he only received a nod, but that was all he needed. Breaking contact from her again he reached to the tray that was holding a pitcher of water and a few glasses. Pouring a small amount he stood up and turned back towards her. 

He brought the small cup to her lips and tilted it back, Leanne let out a low him as the cool liquid soothed her throat. After a moment he pulled back and set the cup down, his hand then smoothing back some of her hair. 

“How are you feeling?” 

Leanne winced again, her eyes closing for a brief moment before she re-opened them. Neal could see her eyes dilate with the sudden light. She swallowed hard, taking a moment to remember what had all happened. 

“Where is Hazel?”

Neal took in a short breath and sat back down, never letting go of her hand as he did so. He knew that he had to be the one to tell her, regardless of the news. “She’s in the NICU, her lungs aren’t fully developed, so she is on a breathing tube. She’s small….Lea.”

She felt her bottom lip quiver, a small nod before she turned to him. “Do you think she is going to make it.”

He wasn’t taken back by the question, she had always wanted things told to her straight. “She has a fifty-fifty chance. But, I think she will make it.” 

Nodding she clenched her jaw, a tear stream it down her cheek. “I bled out, didn’t I?”

It was his turn to nod, and as he did so his thumb ran across her warm skin. “Yes, they had to perform a hysterectomy. I’m so sorry my love.”

Gently, and as if, in that moment, she told him he didn’t need to be sorry, her fingers formed around his hand. Her head leaned back against the pillow and she closed her eyes. Neal bit the inside of his cheek as he watched her fall back asleep. 

\-- 

“How are you feeling Leanne?”

She briefly looked over at Craig, who was checking on her incision. It had been two days since Hazel came into the world, two days that she had been stuck to this bed and unable to see her. Neal had been taking videos but it wasn't the same, she wanted to touch her, to whisper to her and tell her and things were going to be alright. 

“Leanne?” 

She cleared her throat and blinked back the tears in her eyes. “I feel fine.” 

He nodded and pulled her gown back down, “your incision looks good. It's going to take a while for it to heal, but I'm sure you already knew that.”

Licking her lips she shifted against her pile of pillows. “can I go see her today?” 

Craig squinted his eyes, which caused her own to get teary again. 

“Please, Craig. It's been two days.”

Her voice faltered, and in that moment she just wanted to scream. But she knew that wasn't going to help. He clasped his hands together, rocking on his size twelve heel. 

“You need rest, and so does she--"

Just as Leanne was going to protest one of the nurses came in the room. “- ‘scuse me, doc. We need you in the NICU.”

He nodded and turned back to Leanne, “I'm sure Hazel is fine. I'll be back.”

She felt her stomach jump into her throat. She watched as he left the room, picking up his speed of walking as the nurse told him what was going on. Leanne pressed her lips together, she wants just going to sit here and not be able to see her daughter. Glancing over at the wheelchair near the bathroom door she raised her brow. 

Leanne flung the sheets off her, her legs moving to swing over the bed. Her polka dot clad feet barely touching the cool lenolilm. Inhaling sharply she braced herself against her bed, grabbing her IV she brought herself up to a standing position. 

Slowly she made her way from the side of her bed and to the bathroom door. She unhooked the IV bag from its stand and put the corner of it between her teeth. She then lunged forward, her hands grasping the sides of the wheelchair. Maneuvering herself in front of the chair she slowly fell backwards, a loud grunt escaping her throat when her bottom made contact with the seat. She took the IV back from her mouth and set it in her lap. 

-

Neal sent a quick text to Leanne telling her that he was grabbing them some food and then heading to her room. The line was ridiculously long, yet once he had their food he headed towards her room. Shrugging lightly when he found she didn't respond. Must be asleep. He rounded the corner to her room and frowned when she saw the door wide open, which was rather unusual because she liked her privacy. Nevertheless he proceeded into her room. He however halted just short of the door when he found her bed empty. 

Tossing their food on the chair he usually sat in he turned around and headed towards the nurses station. After declaring that she was not in her room the nurse ran to check. Appalled that she didn't believe him he asked where she had gone. The nurse shrugged and mumbled that she didn't know. 

“How could you not know, it's not as if you can miss a hobbling women going down the hall!” 

Neal sighed, running his hand through his now disheveled hair he started to head down the hall. He stopped in open rooms, the bathroom, and the elevator. Halfway down the stairs he stopped and whipped around. How stupid could he be, she only wanted to be in one place, and this time it wasn't center stage. Sprinting down the hallway he practically ran into her, struggling to move the wheelchair down the hall to the NICU. 

He grabbed the handlebars on the back of the wheelchair, stopping her. “Are you out of your mind?” 

Leanne gasped, her hands falling from the wheels as she turned around slightly. 

“No…” 

“You are going to rip your stitches Lea.” 

“I don't care!”

Neal shook his head as she tried to get a hold of the wheels. “Leanne you need to be in bed,” 

He moved to turn the wheelchair, only to be stopped by some freakish strength that she possessed at the moment. 

“I want to see her, Neal! Let me just go see her!” 

Taking in a large breath he let his head fall. He slipped his eyes closed, “Fine,” reopening her eyes his facial features softened as he was met with more tears. “But you have to relax, okay. I'll take you to see her. But then you are going to be back in that bed.” 

She raspily slipped out an okay and relaxed against the chair as Neal started to wheel her back in the direction of the NICU. Upon their arrival the nurse smiled at Neal, ushering him to come into the room, that along with Hazel, were three other babies. She moved and grabbed them both pink surgical robes, before putting his own on Neal put hers on. 

Neal then brought them both closer to where Hazel was. Leanne felt everything completely disappear, expect for them and Hazel. She was so tiny, hooked up to tubes and machines to let everyone know that her little heart was beating. She could probably fit in the palm of her hand, and in that moment Leanne was frightened. What if she didn't make it, could she live with another death of a child? 

She knew she couldn't. She had barley lived through the first one. Letting out a small sigh she felt the tears slip down her cheeks. 

“She is getting stronger Leanne, she will make it.”

Leanne didn't believe it, not until Hazel was home, in her own crib. She reached out and put her hand on the cool glass. She wanted to touch her, but right now that want possible. 

“Don't you give up on me little girl...don't you give up.”


End file.
